I’m a love coach and I speak to women every single day who are struggling in their relationships. Recently, my client, Sara called me in tears, and articulated something I identified with: “I feel like I’m living in the movie Groundhog Day, where every day is the same painful experience with my husband over and over again. Something has to change.”
Or take my client, Kacey, who sent me a text the moment that she had the following realization, “I think my marriage is over. I feel frozen.”
And my client, Vivian, who is currently breaking up with her ...continue reading...
I had a kind and handsome husband. We lived in a four-bedroom home in a suburban golf community. We had nice cars, took vacations and had a wide circle of friends and loving families. I had a good corporate job with a pension and a 401k. We had one dog and no children.
I had no reason to be unhappy or lonely. But I was.
I met my husband in graduate school at the age of 24 and I knew he wouldn’t lie, cheat, or leave me, as past boyfriends had done. But what I didn’t know then is ...continue reading...
I was married to a perfectly nice, stable man for 11 years. Safe and picture-perfect from the outside, my marriage still left me feeling lonely and disconnected inside.When I left my marriage in my late 30s, I attempted to navigate the dating terrain, making more than my fair share of mistakes. I fell in love with men that didn’t deserve that gift, and had my heart broken more than once. I cried more in the 12 months that followed than I had my entire life.
Being broken wide open, I had no choice but to create space ...continue reading...
“In fact, touch is one of the most forgotten languages.” Osho from “Hammer on the Rock”
A woman that I’ll refer to as Marilyn reached out to me this week and shared her story with me. She was without joy or connection in her life and in her marriage. She and her husband of 12 years have no love for one another and live essentially as roommates.
They have, however, been good co-parents together. They shuffle their three children everywhere they need to be, get their homework done and manage to get dinner on the table in one form ...continue reading...
“The details of what you’re fighting over are negligible compared to your innermost experience begging to be heard.” Sevin Philips, MFT
Many of my clients who are struggling in their marriages attend marriage counseling with their husbands, in addition to working with me. They share with me the context of their conversations and progress (or lack thereof) as a result of those sessions. And I fear that through those conversations, we’re not getting to the heart of the matter.
It’s time to take the conversation much deeper.
My client Abbey goes marriage counseling with her husband twice each week, ...continue reading...
“There’s a real sense of freedom—for both you and your partner—when you no longer make him or her responsible for your happiness.” Sharon Pope, Am I in the Wrong Marriage?
Most of us live pretty conditional lives. We’re happy when things are going our way, when we feel really connected to the people in our lives. When our husbands can’t be who we need them to be, we can sometimes bring a more controlling energy to the relationship. We try to convince, to badger, to fight, to reason with him—all varying and fruitless attempts to get him ...continue reading...
“Just because your relationship wasn’t forever, doesn’t mean it was a mistake. It means it was an important chapter in the long story of your life.” Sharon Pope, Soulful Truth Telling: Am I in the Wrong Marriage?
When we’re struggling in a relationship or nursing the wounds from a painful breakup, there are three words that can keep us stuck or propel us forward. We can choose to use them as a stick to beat ourselves up with or we can see them through a softer, more compassionate lens and use them to help us evolve into a better ...continue reading...
