Love Him, but Not in Love with Him

If You Keep Doing the Same Thing, You Should Expect the Same Result.

Love Him, but Not in Love with Him

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Love Him, but Not in Love with Him

“When the sun has set, no candle can replace it.” George R. R. Martin

Rachel has love for her husband, but she’s no longer in love with him.

Rachel and her husband have been married for ten years and their relationship feels more like distant roommates than connected lovers who deeply care for one another. She shares with me that he’s a great guy, but that he is emotionally unavailable.

They’ve tried counseling. He refused to go back after the counselor pointed out that he is emotionally unavailable and verbally abusive.

They tried date nights. It felt like work.

...continue reading...
Posted in: Seeking Clarity in My Marriage: Should I Stay or Should I Go? | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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The Magic Pill for My Marriage

“Have patience. All things are difficult before they become easy.”  Saadi

 

If you’ve been struggling for a long time in your marriage, there’s likely a part of you that wants to make this marriage work and a part of you that’s ready to throw in the towel.

I know it would be so much easier if you could just find a way to re-connect with your husband.

It would be so much easier if he would just be the man you need him to be.

It would be so much easier if you could just stop thinking that ...continue reading...

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The Safe Marriage

“If you don’t know what you want, you’ll never find it. If you don’t know what you deserve, you’ll always settle for less. You will wander aimlessly, uncomfortably numb in your comfort zone, wondering how life has ended up here.”  Rob Liano

 

Lynne was only 24 years old when she met James. She had recently graduated college and was getting a masters in teaching at the time. James was six years older than Lynne and was nearing the end of his residency to become a pediatrician. He was kind and caring. He was solid and safe. He was ...continue reading...

Posted in: Seeking Clarity in My Marriage: Should I Stay or Should I Go? | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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Soften Up, Baby

“Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.” Washington Irving

 

During my first marriage, I wasn’t a Master Life Coach. I was in corporate marketing, and I was an overachiever, constantly searching for that next promotion, that next job, or that next big project. There was almost nothing I couldn’t accomplish by working harder or attempting more effort, control….force. I was far too preoccupied with making my life look picture-perfect to actually live it. I survived on ego-candy and brought that same controlling energy home at night. You can ...continue reading...

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What if There’s Never Any Closure?

“Those things we can’t find closure on, they haunt us. They pop up in our dreams, and creep into our thoughts in idle moments…” Lisa Unger

 

Kristen and her husband were together for 11 years. She thought they had a happy life: they had two amazing boys, a beautiful home and both were happy in their careers. Sure, there were times that they were disconnected as a couple, but she never felt like their marriage was in trouble.

Until her husband asked her for a divorce.

He said he didn’t love her anymore. He said there was someone ...continue reading...

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The Battle between the Heart and Mind

“…just as darkness is nothing but the absence of light, so fear is nothing but the absence of love.” Marianne Williamson

 

Alena had been divorced over a year. Everyone told her the first year is the hardest, so why hadn’t the pain of losing her 24 year marriage dissipated by now?

Their marriage wasn’t good. He was verbally and emotionally abusive to her throughout the last 10 years.

And although intellectually she knows she’s better off now without that abuse, she can’t seem to make her heart understand. She misses him, misses having a partner in her life ...continue reading...

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  1. Stuck in one such battle not knowing whether to listen to heart or mind.

    by Nai a on February 27th, 2018 at 10:42 pm
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Heal from a Relationship with a Narcissist & Never Allow that into Your Heart Again

“There is a kind of love that is so deep it consumes our hearts, minds, bodies, and souls.

There is a kind of love that is passionate, intimate, and connected.

Sometimes it’s that kind of love that we’ve never felt before that leads us to believe we’ll never feel that way again with another person in the future. And the thought of not having it ever again is almost too much to bear, like a sick joke that’s being played on our hearts.”

Sharon Pope, Soulful Truth Telling: Why Can’t I Get Over Him?

 

The greatest heartbreak of ...continue reading...

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Hitting Rock Bottom in Your Relationship.

The wider the gap between two people, the more difficult it is to cross. The greater the distance, the harder it is to bridge. And the further away we travel, the harder it is to find our way back.” Sharon Pope, Soulful Truth Telling: I Know It’s Over. Now What?

 

Tammy had been married to her husband for 27 years. Ten years ago she found out her husband was having an affair.

Through her sadness and disappointment, she somehow found a way to forgive him and stay together.

She thought he made all the necessary changes: quit his ...continue reading...

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Why Isn’t This Enough?

“There wasn’t a simple answer to the most difficult question in my life. And there was no way to answer that question without either denying my needs or hurting my husband. There was no answer that friends and family could understand, much less approve of.” Sharon Pope, Soulful Truth Telling: Am I in the Wrong Marriage?

 

I was in a marriage with a nice, handsome, good man. He was responsible, took care of the finances, worked out four days a week religiously, ironed his clothes for the week every Sunday evening and packed his lunch for work each ...continue reading...

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I Love Him, but I’m Not in Love with Him

“When the sun has set, no candle can replace it.” George R. R. Martin

 

Rachel has love for her husband, but she’s no longer in love with him.

Rachel and her husband have been married for ten years and their relationship feels more like distant roommates than connected lovers who deeply care for one another. She shares with me that he’s a great guy, but that he is emotionally unavailable.

They’ve tried counseling. He refused to go back after the counselor pointed out that he is emotionally unavailable and verbally abusive.

They tried date nights. It felt like ...continue reading...

Posted in: Fixing the Disconnect in My Marriage | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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  1. I am struggling with this same issue. Please help. I am in therapy and things just aren’t easy. Our daughter leaves for college in one month and I am going to be so lonely.

    by Sonjia on July 20th, 2016 at 8:48 pm
  2. Sonjia – I know this isn’t easy. Working through our problems, learning new ways of being in relationship with one another, forgiving ourselves and our spouses and attempting to re-connect to create a different kind of relationship together is NOT easy….you’re right. But staying in a loveless marriage is not easy. Crying yourself to sleep at night is not easy. Feeling like this is all there is, but secretly wanting to feel so much more is not easy. I’m glad you’re going to therapy……you’re doing something and I applaud that. Sometimes therapy can move a little more slowly than you would like and if that becomes the case for you, please keep me in mind. Be well. Sending love and light. Sharon Pope

    by Sharon Pope on July 3rd, 2017 at 4:37 pm
  3. I have been feeling those exact words towards my husband for a while now. We have been together for 20yrs and married for 16yrs. We have 4 children and we both are 40yrs old. He does not know I have such feelings towards him. I pray about it constantly.

    by Jennifer on August 24th, 2016 at 4:26 pm
  4. Jennifer – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling with this really important issue in your marriage. Watch this teaching call I gave and pay attention to the part about taking steps 10 ft at a time. It is only through action that you’ll be able to gain some clarity. Just waiting (and praying TO God, as opposed to listening for His whispers) will only keep you stuck until the pain becomes unbearable (when those whispers turn into bricks upside our heads….I speak from personal experience on that one). Here’s the link to the teaching call / webinar: https://fccdl.in/urLDbXEeh

    by Sharon Pope on August 25th, 2016 at 2:36 pm
  5. Jennifer – You have to open up the lines of communication with your husband and tell him how you feel before it becomes too late. If you keep doing the same thing, reacting in the same way, not saying what needs to be said, nothing will change. It’s actually been my experience that it will actually get worse over time…If you want a guide for this journey…I’m here. http://www.sharonpopetruth.com/truth-clarity-session

    by Sharon Pope on July 3rd, 2017 at 4:34 pm
  6. This is me and I cannot put into words the relief I feel knowing I am not alone. I seriously thought I was going crazy.

    by Robbyn on October 6th, 2016 at 8:09 am
  7. I’m so sorry Robbyn. I think it helps to know that you’re not alone and that you’re not crazy…(if you had any idea the thousands of women that have reached out to me…..), but here’s the truth: Most of those thousands of women won’t solve the problem. They won’t attempt to make a sincere effort to fix what’s not working in the marriage and re-connect and they won’t leave either…they will remain stuck, unhappy and lonely for a very long time because they’re paralyzed, not knowing how to stay and not knowing how to go either. I don’t want that for you: http://www.sharonpopetruth.com/truth-clarity-session

    by Sharon Pope on July 3rd, 2017 at 4:30 pm
  8. This put into words exactly what I have attempted to express to my husband. I, like Robbyn, find relief in knowing that I am not the only one out there married to a great guy that I’m not in love with anymore.

    by Jackie on June 14th, 2017 at 5:15 pm
  9. I’m so sorry Jackie. I think it helps to know that you’re not alone and that you’re not crazy…(if you had any idea the thousands of women that have reached out to me…..), but here’s the truth: Most of those thousands of women won’t solve the problem. They won’t attempt to make a sincere effort to fix what’s not working in the marriage and re-connect and they won’t leave either…they will remain stuck, unhappy and lonely for a very long time because they’re paralyzed, not knowing how to stay and not knowing how to go either. I don’t want that for you: http://www.sharonpopetruth.com/truth-clarity-session

    by Sharon Pope on July 3rd, 2017 at 4:29 pm
  10. This is me and my husband. I cannot put into words the pain I received when my husband told me he was not in love with me. He loves me just not in love. We have been married for 30 years and still live together. We do have sex once a week and sleep in separate rooms. He tells me we have no one else so we need to stay together. What are your thoughts.

    by Sandra on June 15th, 2017 at 6:01 pm
  11. I could not disagree more. I think you both deserve to be truly happy and IN LOVE. So, either do the work to see if it is possible to re-connect or lovingly release each other so you can live in love every day. Love is all we’re here for….
    If you want help to see if you can re-connect, sign-up for a complimentary Truth & Clarity session with a member of my team to see if there’s a fit for us to work together. This is what I do……Here’s the link: http://www.sharonpopetruth.com/truth-clarity-session

    by Sharon Pope on July 3rd, 2017 at 4:24 pm
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