“When we are feeling disconnected from our partner, it isn’t necessarily a sign to leave, but a sign to go deeper.” Jennifer Wardowski
Last summer, my husband and I purchased a 60+ year old home from a darling 80+ year old woman. The home had become too much for her to take care of and she decided she would prefer to be in an assisted living community so the house sat empty for about a year. And during that time, when no one was living in the home, it deteriorated faster than when she was there doing her ...continue reading...
“When you turn your back, you’ve lost her.” Estee Lauder
You’ve stopped sharing your hopes and dreams, passions and desires with each other.
Your conversations are ruled by all the logistics for the kids.
You haven’t looked in each other’s eyes in forever…and you’re not sure you really want to anymore. It feels awkward….foreign, almost….
This is what it looks like when you’ve grown apart.
No one wakes up one day and realized that overnight they have grown apart from their partner; it happens slowly over time. It goes virtually unnoticed until the distance feels wide enough that ...continue reading...
“No woman can love a cheater and not pay the price for it.” Rose Wynters
It didn’t happen just once. It wasn’t a lapse in judgement or a one-night stand.
It wasn’t just one woman. There were many throughout their 24 years together.
It wasn’t just one lie. It was lies, upon lies, upon lies.
He would have an affair. She would find out about it and be heartbroken.
He would break it off, apologize and promise it would never happen again. She would forgive him, hope for the best and look the other way.
“I used to feel that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. IT’S NOT. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.” Robin Williams
We say “I do.”
We settle in as married couple.
We may even plan for children.
We carry the assumption that feeling alone is now a thing of the past. After all, we have someone by our side now “until death do us part.”
So what happens when that relationship feels empty?
What happens when you’re not technically alone, but you’ve never ...continue reading...
“Healing works through a kind of detox; things have to come up in order to be released….we can’t just push the darkness down, pour pink paint over it and then pretend it’s not there. We have to look at it, accept that it exists and then release it for healing.” Marianne Williamson
As a love coach, one of the things I commonly hear when speaking to clients who are struggling with their marriage that looks pretty damn good from the outside but feels empty and alone inside is, “What’s wrong with me? I should be grateful.” They wonder why ...continue reading...
“Nothing changes until you do.” Mike Robbins
Are you struggling with a decision on whether or not to leave your marriage?
You’re not alone.
Abbey called me and said she was ready to end the 23 year relationship she had with her husband. She said that now that her kids are grown and more independent, she’s really feeling the pain, emptiness and loneliness that has existed between her and her husband for a long time. They haven’t had fun together in years, she feels undermined by him and they’re barely speaking. He’s always angry or depressed and when ...continue reading...
“How strange that the nature of life is change, yet the nature of human beings is to resist change. And how ironic that the difficult times we fear might ruin us are the very ones that can break us open and help us blossom into who we were meant to be.” Elizabeth Lesser, Broken Open
We resist change, don’t we?
We don’t like it when things end.
Change can cause discomfort and we certainly aren’t comfortable with discomfort.
We’re in a world where nothing – NOTHING – ever stays the same:
Our jobs change,
Our skills ...continue reading...