I Didn’t Go Looking for an Affair

If You Keep Doing the Same Thing, You Should Expect the Same Result.

I Didn’t Go Looking for an Affair

Posts Tagged 'infidelity'

I Didn’t Go Looking for an Affair

“If you don’t receive love from the ones that are meant to love you, you will never stop looking for it.” Robert Goolrick

 

“I never intended for this to happen.”

“I never saw this coming.”

“I didn’t go looking for an affair.”

“We were just talking as friends.”

“It just happened.”

Sure there are some people that actively go looking for an affair – the next distraction, the next victim, spending hours on sites like Ashley-Madison. But those aren’t typically the people that find their way to me.

The people in my tribe find themselves in an affair ...continue reading...

Posted in: Truth | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

Would You Stay if Your Husband Cheated? Three Questions to Help You Decide if You Should Stay or Go.

Love doesn’t commit suicide. We have to kill it.” Diane Sollee

In our Western culture, monogamy is so widely assumed that it’s rarely even discussed before marriage. But that broad assumption that neither you nor your spouse will cheat doesn’t take away the risk of it occurring. As a matter of fact, according to The Normal Bar, one of the most extensive studies on romantic relationships ever completed, 14% of women and 26% of men admitted to having an affair.

Some will admit their cheating to their partners and other times, their partners find out on their own. Once ...continue reading...

Posted in: Seeking Clarity in My Marriage: Should I Stay or Should I Go? | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

Does He Have Something to Hide

“Questions are only offensive to those who have something to hide.” Gary Hopkins

 

I see it all the time with my clients, particularly those that are struggling with trying to figure out if they should stay or go in their relationship and worry that their partner has something to hide.

They suspect he’s not being truthful, but they have no real proof of that.

They go looking for proof – snooping, cell phone records, drive-bys, even GPS trackers on their cars or phones. They go looking for proof because they don’t trust their guts that have been talking ...continue reading...

Posted in: Seeking Clarity in My Marriage: Should I Stay or Should I Go? | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

What a Shame.

“Between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said, most of love is lost.” Khalil Gibran

He is a good man. He was raised by his grandmother and taught to be honest and responsible. He cares deeply about people, loves his children more than life itself and prioritizes relationships and experiences above things every day of the week. Plus he’s handsome, with soft blue eyes….

But he and his wife are struggling. The stress of daily life, working to pay the bills and raise a family has taken its toll on them as a ...continue reading...

Posted in: Fixing the Disconnect in My Marriage | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

I Wish He Would

“What changes your world is not wishing for change; what changes your world is changing.” Jim Rohn

 

I used to be that person that would see people in the potential of who they could be, rather than who they really were. That caused me some unnecessary heartache by hanging onto relationships long past their expiration date.

I speak to women all day long that are struggling in their marriages and praying for change, expressing, I wish he would just

Be happier, Be more loving, or Communicate with me.

But wishing for him is pointless if he doesn’t want ...continue reading...

Posted in: Inspiration for Myself & My Relationships | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

Your Hurt. Your Pain. Your Anger.

“When her pain is fresh and new, let her have it. Don’t try to take it away. Grief and pain…are not things we should try to snatch from each other. They’re sacred.” Glennon Doyle Melton

 

It was as close to love at first sight as you could probably get. He was a bit of a bad boy, but she couldn’t resist. The attraction between them was palpable 20 years ago and she still remembers that day they met.

Four years later, they married and had a son within a year. As his career began to take off, they ...continue reading...

Posted in: Seeking Clarity in My Marriage: Should I Stay or Should I Go? | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

You’ve Changed…

“You’re always in the process of becoming. You aren’t who you were and you aren’t who you are going to be.” Rob Bell

Maybe some of this sounds familiar:

“You’ve changed. Now you’re too…(fill-in the blank).”

“Why can’t you just go back to the woman you were when we got married?”

“I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

I’m not sure exactly where we got this idea that, as living beings, the day we get married, we’re supposed to be freeze-dried and placed into a little box…

Never to evolve or grow…

Never to challenge ourselves and become ...continue reading...

Posted in: Inspiration for Myself & My Relationships | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
2 Comments | View All
  1. Everything has shifted & changed & I hope in the long hard process of the last few years that I have changed too.. for the better. I struggle sometimes because I want good changes because all of life has seemed so hard & yet.. sometimes making good changes is a hard process too. Today I’m just weary & hopeful that one day.. things will be brighter & more joyful & that I will be too..

    Thanks for this post..

    by Bonnelle on July 12th, 2017 at 1:52 pm
  2. Yes, I have changed. Some for better and some not so much. I miss parts of me & am pleased with some of my changes. Every day is a new start to me.

    by lisa on July 13th, 2017 at 2:07 am
Leave a Comment

It’s Not (Only) About the Affair

“Cancer is that awful word we all fear when we go to the doctor…, but in that brief dark moment we hear it the world we live in and the people we share it with begin to illuminate things we did not even pay attention to.” BD Phillips

 

I wrote an article for an online publication called, My Marriage, My Affair and The Hard Lessons Learned. The article has gotten picked-up on other web sites, has provoked a lot of conversation and I even got some nasty insults sent to me as a result.

Clearly, it talks about ...continue reading...

Posted in: Fixing the Disconnect in My Marriage | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

My Life Needed to be Blown-Up

“When your life shatters, you’re being awakened.” Martha Beck

 

Ten years ago, I was submerged in a life and a career that I thought contained all the keys to happiness, but instead was a life I wanted to escape from.

I was married to a man that was nice and kind, but not passionate or connected. I was in a career that kept me striving, but never really thriving or knowing my value.

My life was filled with all the things that looked great from the outside, but left me feeling empty and alone inside:

A four-bedroom home ...continue reading...
Posted in: Inspiration for Myself & My Relationships | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

There are No Guarantees in Love

“If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.” Clint Eastwood

 

Donna has been with her husband for 30 years, married 28 years. He’s all she has ever known. They have two kids together, who are now grown and building lives of their own.

Donna has been struggling in her marriage for a while, feeling incredibly lonely, but she never seriously considered leaving or trying to make it better. After all, her parents have been married for 55 years and that’s what she had always envisioned for her own life as well. This was a pain she knew…

Until ...continue reading...

Posted in: Seeking Clarity in My Marriage: Should I Stay or Should I Go? | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment