You Have the Relationship You Want. (Read that again.)

 “The most important choice you make is what you choose to make important.” Michael Neill

I saw something recently that kind of pissed me off. It said something along the lines of….

  • You have the bank account you want.
  • You have the body you want.
  • You have the relationship you want.

And I thought, “NO, I DON’T!”

Maybe you’re thinking that right now as well…

But once I sat with it for a second, I knew it was a truth I couldn’t just brush off as BS.

There are many evenings when I want a glass of wine and a scoop of gelato more than I want to lose that last ten pounds I’ve been carrying around. At least in that moment…

I can own that. And I can choose differently.

If you’ve engaged with my work, I’ll bet you don’t think you have the relationship you want.

I’m going to tell you that maybe you actually do…

Sometimes you want to be right more than you want to feel close….
Sometimes you want to feel justified in your actions more than you want to ask for grace or forgiveness…
Sometimes you want to be understood more than you want to understand…
Sometimes you want to be heard more than you want to hear or listen…
Sometimes you want to receive love more than you want to be loving…

You actually have the EXACT relationship you want. (And so does your partner by the way.)

Want to know how I know that?

Because countless women reach out to me every day telling me they want their marriage to be different…
And I offer a path forward through those issues…

And they choose to do nothing different (than they’re doing today)…
They choose to continue seeking answers rather than taking action (seeking feels productive, action feels scary)…
They choose to choose the wine and gelato (believe me, I get it)…

In this way, we are all the same:

  • We invest in what’s important to us.
  • We prioritize the problems we’re committed to solving.
  • If we’re committed to the desired outcome, we make the time and we find a way.

So I’m still carrying around ten extra pounds…until I choose to commit to the outcome I (say that I) desire.

And you’re still feeling confusion, turmoil and heartbreak…until you commit to getting clarity to either fix the struggles inside your marriage or move forward without regret.

I’m still here (extra ten pounds and all….) offering you a path forward with an outstretched hand.

You Have the Relationship You Want. (Read that again.)