“We only control what we don’t trust…Love is the opposite of control. Love demands trust.” Glennon Doyle
One of my most favorite things as a coach is going back to review the words that were shared with me on the first day I began working with a client and the words they’re using now at the end of my program.
The first time I spoke with M., she told me she felt hopeless, lost and desperate about her marriage.
In our very first call together, she shared some ideas about how her husband should be:
Those thoughts led to some feelings that had become toxic to the relationship:
She was willing to take responsibility for being angry, cranky and short all the time, but she for sure thought that her husband needed to change if their marriage was ever going to improve.
Now, only ten weeks later here’s what she’s saying about her marriage:
M. felt the need to control because she didn’t trust that her husband would be there or that he could do it as well as she could. Now, she sees how there’s beauty in the imperfection and there is no one right way to do anything. She’s able to receive the love that is being offered to her by her husband and they’re both happier as a result.
Anytime we’re trying to control, it’s because we’re in fear. And we cannot be in love and fear simultaneously.
Once we get out of the fear, there’s new possibilities for trust and love to find its way through the cracks.
If you’re ready to get out of the fear and back into trust and love, then let’s explore if there’s a fit for us to work together.