“You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.” Max Ehrmann, Desiderata
When love is lost, it can leave us absolutely shattered.
When we’re in that pit of pain after a divorce or breakup, we don’t know how we’ll ever get over him or get out alive. We don’t know how we’ll ever move on and we certainly can’t see our way to ever finding a love like that again.
There are a lot of complex reasons why we can’t seem to get over him. Here’s three:
Getting past the breakup in an emotionally healthy way requires us to ask and answer some difficult questions for ourselves. We have to look closely at your past patterns, we have to understand what our role was in the creation of our experience, and we have to look closely at the beliefs we carry about love and what’s possible for us in love.
When we move past the relationship, there’s very likely some very scary action on the other side of that, such as meeting new people, dating, trusting again and even opening our hearts with the possibility that we get hurt again.
When we’re really honest with ourselves, sometimes we can’t get over him because we simply don’t want to. Michael and I were together for probably only three months, but for some reason I thought that taking six to nine months to mourn the loss of that relationship somehow made it more significant. It made it real. It made it worth everything I gave up, everything I walked away from. It made me less of a fool.