Both you and your partner learned things that don’t serve either of you:
Be soft, but not too soft. Be strong, but not too strong. It’s selfish to put your needs before everyone else…
He was taught to achieve, to excel, to drive hard in the direction of what he wanted. Don’t show emotion; be a man. Be the provider and the one who didn’t need anyone or anything…
But that’s not all…..
In addition to some things we learned that don’t serve us in our lives today, there were a whole host of things no one ever taught us:
We don’t know how to set healthy boundaries or ask for what we need, and he doesn’t know how to ask us.
We each want to be heard and understood, but we don’t really know how to listen for what’s not being said.
He genuinely believes that his value is in the providing for his family, when what you really want is to see a glimpse of his heart, his soul every now and again, which he has no idea how to do.
THE WEAKEST LINK
In relationships, two ill-equipped halves do not make a whole.
As a matter of fact:
Your relationship together will only ever be as strong as the weakest one of you.
It will only be as healthy as the least emotionally healthy one of you.
That’s why our individual work, our mental and emotional well-being is so important to the health of our relationships. We are 50% of what makes-up the relationship and if we’re not mentally and emotionally healthy, then we’re the ones holding the relationship back and contributing to the pain being created and perpetuated.
If you’re ready to do your part… (since that’s all you have any control of…)
If you’re ready to commit to being the healthiest you that you can be… (so that your relationship or marriage can finally feel good again…)
Or, if you’re ready to not be the weakest link in your relationship… (so that even if the relationship ends, you will know you did everything you could…)
Then NOW is the time to invest in your own emotional health and well-being. Doing so ensures you bring your whole self into the relationship and equips you to create and sustain the kind of loving relationship you desire.