When a relationship “fails,” it’s easy to look back on it with blame and shame. We want to point fingers and attribute the pain to external forces (more often than not, by blaming our exes). But the truth is, every relationship is a dynamic. So when that dynamic spirals into dysfunction, we need to recognize our part.
Let’s take an example to explore what I’m talking about further. Caren had a belief that all men leave. And she had good reason to believe this: her father left her mother and the family when she was five years old. In her ...continue reading...
A woman I’ll call Bethany got in touch with me asking for help. She was 47 years old, had two children, and had been married for 23 years to a man with significant narcissistic tendencies. Although their marriage had never been great, the last decade was brutal.
The more time we spent together, the more I learned about their dynamic. He would manipulate her to suit his own desires, withholding love and attention until she finally gave in. He lied pathologically and made no apologies for having multiple affairs or drinking and gambling too much.
She had felt so ...continue reading...
“I don’t know why we all hang onto something we know we’d be better off letting go of. It’s like we’re scared to lose what we don’t even really have. Some of us say we’d rather have something than absolutely nothing, but the truth is, to have it halfway is harder than not having it at all.” Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy
Maggie reached out to me in tears, trying to overcome the loss of a relationship with a man that she deeply loved. She shared with me that she had never felt so connected to someone and now ...continue reading...
“The longest journey you will make in your life is from your head to your heart.” Sioux legend
Tammy was a woman that found me through Facebook. She had read the blog post I wrote on narcissism and knew she needed help getting out of her toxic, abusive and emotionally destructive relationship. She’s given up everything to be with a man that makes her feel isolated, weak and lost.
A woman who was once happy, positive and confident is now – 4 years later after falling in love with a ...continue reading...
“Narcissists can make you fall in love with them so hard that it feels like you’re giving up a part of your heart to leave them.” Dr. Judith Orloff
I’ve often said that “One day I’ll write about narcissism,” as I see my clients struggle with it and as I recall my own personal struggle with it many years ago. That day is today. This is an excerpt from that book. My prayer is that it’s helpful for you or someone you love.
I don’t know if our culture has bred an entire generation of narcissists, if we ...continue reading...