Challenging the Inevitable Truth

“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.” Oscar Wilde

 

Virtually everyone believes their thoughts as Truth (with a capital T). No one walks around thinking, “I think I’ll believe that lie.” And yet, all of our beliefs are simply perspectives – not right or wrong, good or bad – just one person’s perspective.

But some of the beliefs we carry as if they are inevitable truths that will for sure come to fruition or that they are irrefutable facts. They’re often not. Outside of needing oxygen and water to live, there are very few beliefs we carry ...continue reading...

“The best investment you can make is in yourself.” Warren Buffett

 

I am not an inexpensive coach. And I make no apologies for that. Here’s why…

What you’re investing in is the result. Not my time. Not the value of the tools. Not my background, education or experience. Although all those things contribute to the result, what you’re investing in is a proven process to get you The Result.

Want to fix your marriage? What would that be worth to you to wake up each day feeling good about your husband, your marriage and the kind of relationship you’re ...continue reading...

“You’re always in the process of becoming. You aren’t who you were and you aren’t who you are going to be.” Rob Bell

Maybe some of this sounds familiar:

“You’ve changed. Now you’re too…(fill-in the blank).”

“Why can’t you just go back to the woman you were when we got married?”

“I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

I’m not sure exactly where we got this idea that, as living beings, the day we get married, we’re supposed to be freeze-dried and placed into a little box…

Never to evolve or grow…

Never to challenge ourselves and become ...continue reading...

“She’s a woman, you’re a dude. You’re not supposed to understand her. That’s not what she’s after…. She doesn’t want you to understand her. She knows that’s impossible. She just wants you to understand yourself. Everything else is negotiable.” Neal Stephenson

Each day, I speak with women who ask me, “Why is connecting with my husband so damn difficult?” More and more women are waking-up and wanting to feel a deeper connection with their husbands, but they don’t know how to get that or how to tell their husbands they want that…

Women have been oppressed in a myriad of ways since the beginning of time. I ...continue reading...

“The results you achieve will be in direct proportion to the effort you apply.” Denis Waitley

 

Anne reached out to me and said, “I’ve tried everything. I meditate, I journal, I’ve read dozens of self-help books, I read relationship blog posts and online articles every single day, and nothing is working. Nothing is making me feel less sad and nothing seems to improve my relationship with my husband. Is this marriage just doomed? Should I give up?”

We understand why people stay stuck in struggling relationships when they don’t seek help and think that maybe over time, things ...continue reading...

“I dislike the work self-help. Self-awareness, yes, but not self-help.” Deepak Chopra

 

Okay…..I know…..I know……Clearly, as a Love Coach I exist and live within the self-help industry. I’ve written seven self-help books and blog every few days about how to create loving relationships that feel good to your soul (and how to change or release the ones that don’t).

But here’s where I disagree with what’s happening in the field of self-help:

You are Not Broken.

I know it benefits us as coaches, healers, therapists, etc…to convince you that you are broken and that the only way to ...continue reading...

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”  Jalaluddin Rumi

 

The moment when you find out your spouse has cheated on you…

Words fail to describe the gravity of how it feels.

It hits you like a ton of bricks…

You’re in shock…

You can’t breathe…

A million unanswered questions spin around and around in your mind…

Then slowly, as time passes, you begin to walk out of the shock and fog and get to a place where you want to heal the hurt. That’s the time when you’re ready to look at the cracks in ...continue reading...

“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits—anything that kept me small. My judgement called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.”  Kim McMillen

Amber and her husband are strangers living together, raising four kids. He owns a successful business and she’s a stay-at-home mother. He never wanted children and she did; so, he has a “hands off” approach with the kids. They don’t talk much. They haven’t connected physically in years. They don’t say, “I love you,” or kiss goodnight. They literally go days without ...continue reading...

“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.” Oscar Wilde

 

You know when you go to the hair salon and it’s like sitting on a therapist’s couch or a bar stool next to your best friend? We tell them everything…and anything, don’t we? I know I certainly have (can I get an Amen, Rachel?).

And because they create that beautiful and safe space for us, you hear everything…sometimes more than you would like.

I was in the salon getting my hair cut this week and another ...continue reading...

“I used to feel that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. IT’S NOT. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.” Robin Williams

 

We say “I do.”

We settle in as married couple.

We may even plan for children.

We carry the assumption that feeling alone is now a thing of the past. After all, we have someone by our side now “until death do us part.”

So what happens when that relationship feels empty?

What happens when you’re not technically alone, but you’ve never ...continue reading...