“You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.” Epicurus
The average American spends 2160 days in school, and based upon the average life span, that’s 12% of all the days of our lives spent in school. During that time, we learn about things such as math, science, reading, writing, languages, etc. These are all important topics to help us function in the world and become productive adults.
But at the end of our lives, when we’re lying there close to taking our last breath and reflecting ...continue reading...
“It’s not somebody’s fault if their father was an abusive alcoholic, but it’s for damn sure their responsibility to figure out how they’re gonna deal with those traumas and try to make a life out of it.” Will Smith
A friend and former mentor of mine said something yesterday that was brilliant. She said:
“You don’t get to decide whether or not the drama shows up.
You get to decide what you do in the midst of that drama.”
It reminded me of the Will Smith video that’s been making the rounds on Facebook ...continue reading...
“You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weights you down.” Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon
Last week one of my coaching clients stopped working with me.
When she came to me she had one foot out the door and no idea how to save a marriage that was essentially on life support.
Now several months later, she and her husband have re-connected, they’re communicating every day and they’re enjoying doing things together that they haven’t done in years.
She also is now equipped with all the tools she needs to sustain this connection in ...continue reading...
“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” Mother Theresa
I think nothing happens simply by coincidence so when I randomly open a spiritual book and a few hours later I listen to a business podcast and both talking about the same topic, I start to pay attention. Then, as often happens, a client will either reflect this same thought back to me or it will be just the insight they will need to hear from me in order to move past an obstacle they’re facing.
Either way, when this ...continue reading...
“Every day brings new choices.” Martha Beck
I was having lunch this week with a dear friend of mine who has been divorced from her husband for a little over a year. She asked me for my opinion to a sincere question: “Do you think I’m hiding from love?” She hasn’t dated much since her divorce and although she would like to have someone in her life, finding love hasn’t been a priority for her.
I thought about it for a few seconds and gave her my honest answer: “No. I don’t think you’re hiding from love at ...continue reading...
“I do believe that 50 is the new 40 and 60 is the new 50. Hell, maybe 60 can be the new 40, I don’t know. I believe that when we give ourselves permission, we can live with an excitement and heat and passion that most women in previous generations were unable to attain.” Marianne Williamson
Five years ago, my husband and I were in St. Lucia. I recall looking around the pool of mature couples and noticing how every single woman – myself included – save two of them were reading the first Fifty Shades of Grey ...continue reading...
“Each day learn something new, and just as important, re-learn something old.” Robert Breault
One of the ways I think our marriages fall off the rails is when we stop being curious about one another.
We assume we know everything there is to know about our partners, but that’s not true.
Even after being together for many years, we’re not the same people we were years – or decades – ago. We’re changing and so are our spouses. What we want or prefer now is likely very different than what we wanted and liked ten or twenty years ...continue reading...
“Questions are only offensive to those who have something to hide.” Gary Hopkins
I see it all the time with my clients, particularly those that are struggling with trying to figure out if they should stay or go in their relationship and worry that their partner has something to hide.
They suspect he’s not being truthful, but they have no real proof of that.
They go looking for proof – snooping, cell phone records, drive-bys, even GPS trackers on their cars or phones. They go looking for proof because they don’t trust their guts that have been talking ...continue reading...
Yep…..All 5 books for FREE.
Last year I wrote a book for women struggling in marriages that look picture-perfect from the outside, but feel empty and alone inside that marriage. It’s called, Why Isn’t This Marriage Enough? I’m thrilled to tell you that it was picked-up by a New York publisher and will be in book stores this December.
But I don’t want you to have to wait until then…
“Throughout our lives we long to love ourselves more deeply and to feel connected with others. Instead, we often contract, fear intimacy, and suffer a bewildering sense of separation. We crave love, and yet we are lonely.” Sharon Salzberg
A beautiful soul named Lori reached out to me this week and the email started like this, “I just opened the door for a conversation with my husband…through text of all things because he and I have never been much to communicate….I asked him if he was happy. I asked him if he thought our marriage was salvageable…”