A woman I’ll call Bethany got in touch with me asking for help. She was 47 years old, had two children, and had been married for 23 years to a man with significant narcissistic tendencies. Although their marriage had never been great, the last decade was brutal.
The more time we spent together, the more I learned about their dynamic. He would manipulate her to suit his own desires, withholding love and attention until she finally gave in. He lied pathologically and made no apologies for having multiple affairs or drinking and gambling too much.
She had felt so ...continue reading...
“Narcissism falls along the axis of what psychologists call personality disorders, one of a group that includes antisocial, dependent, histrionic, avoidant and borderline personalities. But by most measures, narcissism is one of the worst, if only because the narcissists themselves are so clueless.” Jeffrey Kluger
I don’t know if we have had an incredible increase in people with narcissistic tendencies or we simply have access to a lot more information about narcissism than ever before. It’s likely a little of both and that’s probably why the term gets tossed around more than is warranted.
But there’s a big ...continue reading...
“There is a kind of love that is so deep it consumes our hearts, minds, bodies, and souls.
There is a kind of love that is passionate, intimate, and connected.
Sometimes it’s that kind of love that we’ve never felt before that leads us to believe we’ll never feel that way again with another person in the future. And the thought of not having it ever again is almost too much to bear, like a sick joke that’s being played on our hearts.”
Sharon Pope, Soulful Truth Telling: Why Can’t I Get Over Him?
The greatest heartbreak of ...continue reading...
“You know truth by the way it feels.” India Arie
Last night I was having a session with a client that I’ve been working with and know well. She had been married for 30 years when her husband told her it was over. She had endured decades of emotional abuse and manipulation inside of that marriage. He made her believe that his unhappiness was her fault.
She would ask, “How was your day?” and he would say, “Stop being so controlling and trying to get inside my head.”
On a vacation to Cancun with friends, he kept himself intoxicated ...continue reading...
“The longest journey you will make in your life is from your head to your heart.” Sioux legend
Tammy was a woman that found me through Facebook. She had read the blog post I wrote on narcissism and knew she needed help getting out of her toxic, abusive and emotionally destructive relationship. She’s given up everything to be with a man that makes her feel isolated, weak and lost.
A woman who was once happy, positive and confident is now – 4 years later after falling in love with a ...continue reading...
“Narcissists can make you fall in love with them so hard that it feels like you’re giving up a part of your heart to leave them.” Dr. Judith Orloff
I’ve often said that “One day I’ll write about narcissism,” as I see my clients struggle with it and as I recall my own personal struggle with it many years ago. That day is today. This is an excerpt from that book. My prayer is that it’s helpful for you or someone you love.
I don’t know if our culture has bred an entire generation of narcissists, if we ...continue reading...