“Each night ask yourself…when did you withhold love when you might have given it?” Marianne Williamson
My client, Marilyn, told me it had been at least 5 years since she and her husband had sex.
She said they fall asleep each night lying next to one another, but feeling a million miles away from him.
Through tears Marilyn shared that she hadn’t been held in at least that long.
That’s 1825 days without affection.
1825 days without physical closeness and connection.
1825 days without feeling seen and understood.
1825 days without emotional support, intimacy and vulnerability.
1825 days ...continue reading...
“Every great man, every successful man, no matter what the field of endeavor, has known the magic that lies in these words: every adversity has the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.” W. Clement Stone
A bonus of my relationship coaching practice is that I get to meet and work with some pretty phenomenal people:
I’ve worked with a Functional Medicine Doctor & Nutritionist who also plays the drums for a band several nights each week.
I’ve worked with several woman who decided later in life that they wanted to learn how to fly – literally – ...continue reading...
“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you’re not going to stay where you are.” Unknown
I’ve not always been the biggest fan of New Year’s (until I decided to get married on NYE, that is…). But one thing it’s good for is taking stock of where you are in your relationship and becoming intentional about where you want to go in your relationship or marriage.
Maybe things haven’t been going that well…
Maybe you’ve been arguing more and the resentments have been mounting…
Maybe you’ve just begun to co-exist as parents, losing who you ...continue reading...
“Discomfort is a wise teacher.” Carolyn Myss
My client, who I’ll refer to here as Stella, had been married for 18 years when she found out that her husband had been involved in an online emotional affair with an ex-girlfriend for at least three years.
Sounds like a betrayal, right?
Yes, it was. But he wasn’t the only one doing some betraying…
Stella couldn’t remember the last time she felt good about her marriage.
They argued a lot and nothing ever seemed to get resolved.
Every time she tried to talk to her husband about the problems in ...continue reading...
“Courage and confidence are what decision making is all about.” Mike Krzyzewski
A client, who I’ll call Paula, had gotten stuck.
Six weeks ago, she told her husband that she felt it was time to separate. They had been struggling for years and it was only getting worse.
They were arguing more.
They were sleeping in separate bedrooms.
And Paula was worrying about what they were teaching their daughters about love and marriage.
She felt like their only answer was to separate.
Not surprisingly, that’s not what her husband wanted so they spent the next three hours trying ...continue reading...
“One of the greatest challenges in creating a joyful, peaceful and abundant life is taking responsibility for what you do and how you do it. As long as you can blame someone else, be angry with someone else, point a finger at someone else, you are not taking responsibility for your life.” Iyanla Vanzant
Fran and Steve had been together for 26 years.
Fran had become more controlling after their children were born and their schedules became more and more chaotic.
She would frequently talk over him when he tried to speak.
She would stifle his ideas and ...continue reading...
“It can be difficult, if not impossible, for many divorced people to ever rest in a state of pure grief, pure anger, or pure relief when it comes to feelings about one’s ex-spouse. Instead, the emotions often remain mixed-up together in an uncomfortably raw stew of contradictions for many years.” Elizabeth Gilbert
In almost every divorce, there is always one person that is asking for the divorce and one that is not. Although no one – not even the person seeking the change – gets out of divorce free from hurt, often times the one that is left ...continue reading...
“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality, nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit.” Christopher McCandless
Susan reached out to me and shared with me the details of her struggling marriage. She and her husband of 30 years don’t talk much and when they do, she feels disrespected by him. She says she’s been going through the motions of her ...continue reading...
Listen to this provocative quote regarding marriage from anthropologist Lionel Tiger:
“It is astonishing, that under the circumstance, marriage is still legally allowed. If nearly half of anything else ended so disastrously, the government would surely ban it immediately. If half the tacos served in restaurants caused dysentery, if half the people learning karate broke their palms, if only six percent of people who went on roller coaster rides damaged their middle ears, the public would be clamoring for action. Yet the most intimate of disasters… happens over and over again.”
While it’s true that nearly half of all ...continue reading...