The Four Stages of Marriage

If You Keep Doing the Same Thing, You Should Expect the Same Result.

The Four Stages of Marriage

Posts Tagged 'love but not in love'

The Four Stages of Marriage

“Our marriages are never static; they are always changing – either growing or withering…” Dave & Claudie Arp   Our marriages and most intimate relationships are incredibly complex and constantly changing; as we evolve and change, so do our closest relationships.   There are certainly times when we’re feeling incredibly connected to our partners, knowing their thoughts, finishing their sentences and even feeling their pain or insecurities. And there are those other times, when we’re wondering who this person is that’s sitting across from us and how we got here. Those are the extremes, but certainly we live a ...continue reading...
Posted in: Seeking Clarity in My Marriage: Should I Stay or Should I Go? | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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Three Reasons Why Asking Your Spouse to Go to Marriage Counseling with You Rarely Works

“Nothing dies harder than a bad idea.” Julia Cameron

 

Stacey has been struggling in her marriage for years, specifically the last two years. She feels lonely and empty. She feels unseen and unappreciated.

So, she did what most of us might do; she asked her husband if he’d be willing to go to marriage counseling with her.

Here’s why that rarely works:

When you ask your spouse to go to marriage counseling with you, what he hears you saying is, “There’s something wrong with you and we need someone to fix it.” No one wants to be fixed. ...continue reading...

Posted in: Seeking Clarity in My Marriage: Should I Stay or Should I Go? | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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When the Arguing Ends and You’re Left with a Grudging Tolerance

 “A grudging tolerance of thoughts and feelings is better than an outright struggle, but it leaves you feeling stuck and somewhat helpless. It’s a sense more of resignation than of acceptance, of entrapment rather than freedom, of being stuck rather than moving forward.”  Russ Harris, The Happiness Trap

 

“This is me. This is my marriage. Grudging tolerance….and stuck.”

My client, who I’ll refer to as Susan, sent me those words in a text.

The weight of her message hit me square in the heart.

Susan and her husband used to fight.

They had brutal fights.

He didn’t like it when ...continue reading...

Posted in: Seeking Clarity in My Marriage: Should I Stay or Should I Go? | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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