“Nothing dies harder than a bad idea.” Julia Cameron
Stacey has been struggling in her marriage for years, specifically the last two years. She feels lonely and empty. She feels unseen and unappreciated.
So, she did what most of us might do; she asked her husband if he’d be willing to go to marriage counseling with her.
Here’s why that rarely works:
When you ask your spouse to go to marriage counseling with you, what he hears you saying is, “There’s something wrong with you and we need someone to fix it.” No one wants to be fixed. ...continue reading...
“A grudging tolerance of thoughts and feelings is better than an outright struggle, but it leaves you feeling stuck and somewhat helpless. It’s a sense more of resignation than of acceptance, of entrapment rather than freedom, of being stuck rather than moving forward.” Russ Harris, The Happiness Trap
“This is me. This is my marriage. Grudging tolerance….and stuck.”
My client, who I’ll refer to as Susan, sent me those words in a text.
The weight of her message hit me square in the heart.
Susan and her husband used to fight.
They had brutal fights.
He didn’t like it when ...continue reading...