Divorce is a loss. It is a loss of a relationship, of course, but it is also a loss of a dream you once held. It may be a loss of an identity. You may lose friendships and you’ll certainly lose money. But one of the other surprising things you lose in divorce is your sense of real clarity in your life.
It’s like a fog has rolled in and you know the bridge is there connecting the life you had with the life you’re moving towards, but you can’t see it.
That’s why the most valuable wellness tool ...continue reading...
I was in love. It wasn’t an easy, nurturing, soulful love. It was the kind of love that rocks your foundation and leaves you feeling consumed.
He was the first thing I thought about when I woke up and the last thing I thought about before I went to sleep. He was intense and passionate, but also secretive and disarming.
Just as I became consumed by this drug, needing hit after hit, he began to pull away. He began making less time for me, making me feel very small and unimportant in his life.
He began seeing other women, ...continue reading...
We read an endless supply of books that teach us how to be the most authentic version of ourselves. We go deep within to understand our needs, desires and longings. We become open to exploring things like meditation and yoga, if we think there’s the potential for finding peace.
But if you really want to grow and evolve in your journey, look no further than your closest personal relationships.
The people we are closest to (and specifically our relationships with those people) are the greatest teachers for our lives. Each one of our relationships powerfully reflects back to us all ...continue reading...
“What is now proved, was only once imagined.” William Blake
I’m in a coaching session with my new client Eve. She tells me about how she used to be so brave in her life, traveling to different parts of the world, running a marathon, even learning to fly an airplane(!).
She’s wondering how she got to this place where she feels genuinely lost after spending the last 12 years in marriage that never felt good from the start.
She’s wondering how she became so disconnected from herself.
And she’s been wondering what happened to that brave woman…and she ...continue reading...
“Narcissism falls along the axis of what psychologists call personality disorders, one of a group that includes antisocial, dependent, histrionic, avoidant and borderline personalities. But by most measures, narcissism is one of the worst, if only because the narcissists themselves are so clueless.” Jeffrey Kluger
I don’t know if we have had an incredible increase in people with narcissistic tendencies or we simply have access to a lot more information about narcissism than ever before. It’s likely a little of both and that’s probably why the term gets tossed around more than is warranted.
But there’s a big ...continue reading...
“No woman can love a cheater and not pay the price for it.” Rose Wynters
It didn’t happen just once. It wasn’t a lapse in judgement or a one-night stand.
It wasn’t just one woman. There were many throughout their 24 years together.
It wasn’t just one lie. It was lies, upon lies, upon lies.
He would have an affair. She would find out about it and be heartbroken.
He would break it off, apologize and promise it would never happen again. She would forgive him, hope for the best and look the other way.
“There is a kind of love that is so deep it consumes our hearts, minds, bodies, and souls.
There is a kind of love that is passionate, intimate, and connected.
Sometimes it’s that kind of love that we’ve never felt before that leads us to believe we’ll never feel that way again with another person in the future. And the thought of not having it ever again is almost too much to bear, like a sick joke that’s being played on our hearts.”
Sharon Pope, Soulful Truth Telling: Why Can’t I Get Over Him?
The greatest heartbreak of ...continue reading...
“You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.” Max Ehrmann, Desiderata
When love is lost, it can leave us absolutely shattered.
When we’re in that pit of pain after a divorce or breakup, we don’t know how we’ll ever get over him or get out alive. We don’t know how we’ll ever move on and we certainly can’t see our way to ever finding a love ...continue reading...
“The longest journey you will make in your life is from your head to your heart.” Sioux legend
Tammy was a woman that found me through Facebook. She had read the blog post I wrote on narcissism and knew she needed help getting out of her toxic, abusive and emotionally destructive relationship. She’s given up everything to be with a man that makes her feel isolated, weak and lost.
A woman who was once happy, positive and confident is now – 4 years later after falling in love with a ...continue reading...
“Narcissists can make you fall in love with them so hard that it feels like you’re giving up a part of your heart to leave them.” Dr. Judith Orloff
I’ve often said that “One day I’ll write about narcissism,” as I see my clients struggle with it and as I recall my own personal struggle with it many years ago. That day is today. This is an excerpt from that book. My prayer is that it’s helpful for you or someone you love.
I don’t know if our culture has bred an entire generation of narcissists, if we ...continue reading...