The Shame of Staying

If You Keep Doing the Same Thing, You Should Expect the Same Result.

The Shame of Staying

Posts Tagged 'he cheated'

The Shame of Staying

“Shame is a soul eating emotion.” Carl Gustav Jung


My new client, who I’ll refer to as Paula, recently found out that her husband has been having an affair with another woman for at least ten years. As you can imagine, she’s devastated.

Ten years together isn’t a fling or a simple indiscretion; it’s a relationship.

Paula is wondering why she ignored the signs.

She’s wondering where exactly the marriage broke in order for her 30-year marriage to be vulnerable to an affair.

She’s wondering how she’ll ever be able to trust again.

She vacillates between blaming herself ...continue reading...

Posted in: Fixing the Disconnect in My Marriage | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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Just Because He Lied or Cheated Doesn’t Make Him a Narcissist

“Narcissism falls along the axis of what psychologists call personality disorders, one of a group that includes antisocial, dependent, histrionic, avoidant and borderline personalities. But by most measures, narcissism is one of the worst, if only because the narcissists themselves are so clueless.” Jeffrey Kluger


I don’t know if we have had an incredible increase in people with narcissistic tendencies or we simply have access to a lot more information about narcissism than ever before. It’s likely a little of both and that’s probably why the term gets tossed around more than is warranted.

But there’s a big ...continue reading...

Posted in: Healing after Heartbreak or Divorce | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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His Affair. Her Heartbreak. Rinse and Repeat.

“No woman can love a cheater and not pay the price for it.” Rose Wynters


It didn’t happen just once. It wasn’t a lapse in judgement or a one-night stand.

It wasn’t just one woman. There were many throughout their 24 years together.

It wasn’t just one lie. It was lies, upon lies, upon lies.

He would have an affair. She would find out about it and be heartbroken.

He would break it off, apologize and promise it would never happen again. She would forgive him, hope for the best and look the other way.

Rinse. Repeat.

So, ...continue reading...

Posted in: Seeking Clarity in My Marriage: Should I Stay or Should I Go? | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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Hitting Rock Bottom in Your Relationship.

The wider the gap between two people, the more difficult it is to cross. The greater the distance, the harder it is to bridge. And the further away we travel, the harder it is to find our way back.” Sharon Pope, Soulful Truth Telling: I Know It’s Over. Now What?


Tammy had been married to her husband for 27 years. Ten years ago she found out her husband was having an affair.

Through her sadness and disappointment, she somehow found a way to forgive him and stay together.

She thought he made all the necessary changes: quit his ...continue reading...

Posted in: Seeking Clarity in My Marriage: Should I Stay or Should I Go? | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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