“You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.” Epicurus
The average American spends 2160 days in school, and based upon the average life span, that’s 12% of all the days of our lives spent in school. During that time, we learn about things such as math, science, reading, writing, languages, etc. These are all important topics to help us function in the world and become productive adults.
But at the end of our lives, when we’re lying there close to taking our last breath and reflecting ...continue reading...
“The healer you have been looking for is your own courage to know and love yourself completely.” Yung Pueblo
Being in relationship with one another forces us to forgive over and over and over again in order to live peacefully and sustain healthy, loving relationships. When we choose to not forgive, we carry the tremendous weight of unhealed resentment. It’s a script running in the background of our minds and if not released, it will cunningly show up in all of our relationships, interactions and experiences.
You’ve probably heard the saying that forgiveness is for you; it’s not for ...continue reading...
“A life lived without forgiveness is a life lived in the past.” Asa Don Brown
Sometimes in relationships we hurt one another.
When people hurt us intentionally, it’s because they’re hurting themselves. It’s only ever hurting people who intentionally hurt other people.
But mostly when other people hurt us, it’s unintentional and it’s because they didn’t really know how to do it differently and well, they screwed-up.
Sometimes when other people hurt us, they can take responsibility for what they did and apologize for doing the hurt caused. But let’s be honest…most people cannot do that…
They can’t ...continue reading...
I was in love. It wasn’t an easy, nurturing, soulful love. It was the kind of love that rocks your foundation and leaves you feeling consumed.
He was the first thing I thought about when I woke up and the last thing I thought about before I went to sleep. He was intense and passionate, but also secretive and disarming.
Just as I became consumed by this drug, needing hit after hit, he began to pull away. He began making less time for me, making me feel very small and unimportant in his life.
He began seeing other women, ...continue reading...
“Just because your relationship wasn’t forever, doesn’t mean it was a mistake. It means it was an important chapter in the long story of your life.” Sharon Pope, Soulful Truth Telling: Am I in the Wrong Marriage?
When we’re struggling in a relationship or nursing the wounds from a painful breakup, there are three words that can keep us stuck or propel us forward. We can choose to use them as a stick to beat ourselves up with or we can see them through a softer, more compassionate lens and use them to help us evolve into a better ...continue reading...
“Once you know better, you do better.” Dr. Maya Angelou
Once you begin to explore why some past painful relationships didn’t last, you may be able to see the role you had in contributing to the creation of that experience:
Maybe you overlooked something you shouldn’t have.
Maybe you tried to convince yourself you could make the unworkable work.
Maybe you stayed too long in a relationship out of fear of being alone.
Maybe you put your partner’s happiness before your own.
Maybe you stayed for the children.
But you did those things because you wanted love. You wanted ...continue reading...
“We may regret that we’re no longer young, but we’re ecstatic that we’re no longer clueless.” Marianne Williamson
Today is my birthday. 43.
Even if I could, there’s not a single age that I want to go back to….not 39, not 29 and definitely not 19.
At each birthday, I usually take some time to reflect back on the year that has passed.
The last year has contained some profound change for me. I changed careers, got married and built a thriving business that is both meaningful and fulfilling. I had to say good-bye to my dog that I ...continue reading...
“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.” Mary Oliver
When hearts are broken, it hurts. I’ve lost jobs. I’ve lost friendships. I’ve lost my footing, but nothing kicked me in the stomach and opened me up the way a broken heart did.I know what it’s like to get your heart broken. I know what it’s like to not quite know where your broken heart ends and your own brokenness begins. I know what it feels like to want an unworkable relationship to ...continue reading...
“God pulls us through life by the heart.” Martha Beck
As I’ve been building my life coaching practice, I’ve become very clear on who it is I want to serve. The truth is that the people I can help the most are people who are going through something in their lives that I’ve also experienced and come through myself.
That’s why I have a special place in my heart for people who are healing a broken heart.
I have had my heart broken and I have broken hearts – both experiences sucked (quite frankly!). I got emotionally lost for a bit, ...continue reading...
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” Lewis B. Smedes
I can feel it right now in my body. My forearms are tense, I have a lump in my throat; my fingers are actually tingling. I feel tense, especially in my chest.
The company I chose to publish my book through has been treating me with horrific disrespect for months now. I paid the company more than $7000 for marketing services five months ago that they have yet to provide. Now, once I threaten legal action and request a refund for ...continue reading...