Begging for Affection

I believe that we all are enough.

Begging for Affection

Posts Tagged 'disconnected'

Begging for Affection

“The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection, and not a fountain; to show them that we love them not when we feel like it, but when they do.” Nan Fairbrother

 

“I can sit next to him, but I cannot lean on him or put my head on his shoulder. I can hold his hand, but he will drop within about five minutes. We haven’t had sex for a year and he hasn’t kissed me in months. Every time I try to initiate some physical closeness, he has a reason why now is not ...continue reading...

Posted in: Seeking Clarity in My Marriage: Should I Stay or Should I Go? | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

The Mature Marriage: Five Signs of a Marriage in Trouble

The Mature Marriage: Five Signs of a Marriage in Trouble

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” Haruki Murakami

Even though divorce rates for younger couples is on the decline, the rate of divorces in mature marriages is increasing. As a matter of fact, the divorce rate has nearly ...continue reading...

Posted in: Fixing the Disconnect in My Marriage | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
  1. This is so true. All 5 described me when I finally got a divorce.

    by Jen on April 13th, 2018 at 7:30 am
Leave a Comment

The Danger of a Marriage on Auto-Pilot

“Tell me to what you pay attention and I will tell you who you are.” Jose Ortega y Gasset

 

Do you remember the day when you held your newborn in your arms for the first time? You instinctively knew that this tiny human being was now going to be the center of your world and you were glad to do it. Lots would go on the back-burner for essentially the next two decades: your interests, your dreams, your desires and, even your marriage.

Placing a marriages on auto-pilot doesn’t occur intentionally; it’s just that in a household with ...continue reading...

Posted in: Fixing the Disconnect in My Marriage | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

10 Quotes for Understanding Why Some Marriages Struggle

 

...continue reading...

Posted in: Inspiration for Myself & My Relationships | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

The Disconnected Marriage

“The key problem I encounter working with wounded, depressed, and unhappy people is a lack of connection…starting from a disconnection from themselves and then with others.” David W. Earle

 

After 23 years together, Pamela finally reached out for help.

In her application to me she shared, He is not there for me emotionally. We don’t hug, we don’t kiss, we don’t touch.  I feel empty and unwanted. I’m not sure how much longer I can take it. I don’t know how to leave and I don’t know how to stay.

But Pamela’s words could be any of the hundreds ...continue reading...

Posted in: Fixing the Disconnect in My Marriage | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

Love Him, but Not in Love with Him

“When the sun has set, no candle can replace it.” George R. R. Martin

Rachel has love for her husband, but she’s no longer in love with him.

Rachel and her husband have been married for ten years and their relationship feels more like distant roommates than connected lovers who deeply care for one another. She shares with me that he’s a great guy, but that he is emotionally unavailable.

They’ve tried counseling. He refused to go back after the counselor pointed out that he is emotionally unavailable and verbally abusive.

They tried date nights. It felt like work.

...continue reading...
Posted in: Seeking Clarity in My Marriage: Should I Stay or Should I Go? | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

I Love Him, but I’m Not in Love with Him

“When the sun has set, no candle can replace it.” George R. R. Martin

 

Rachel has love for her husband, but she’s no longer in love with him.

Rachel and her husband have been married for ten years and their relationship feels more like distant roommates than connected lovers who deeply care for one another. She shares with me that he’s a great guy, but that he is emotionally unavailable.

They’ve tried counseling. He refused to go back after the counselor pointed out that he is emotionally unavailable and verbally abusive.

They tried date nights. It felt like ...continue reading...

Posted in: Fixing the Disconnect in My Marriage | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
11 Comments | View All
  1. I am struggling with this same issue. Please help. I am in therapy and things just aren’t easy. Our daughter leaves for college in one month and I am going to be so lonely.

    by Sonjia on July 20th, 2016 at 8:48 pm
  2. Sonjia – I know this isn’t easy. Working through our problems, learning new ways of being in relationship with one another, forgiving ourselves and our spouses and attempting to re-connect to create a different kind of relationship together is NOT easy….you’re right. But staying in a loveless marriage is not easy. Crying yourself to sleep at night is not easy. Feeling like this is all there is, but secretly wanting to feel so much more is not easy. I’m glad you’re going to therapy……you’re doing something and I applaud that. Sometimes therapy can move a little more slowly than you would like and if that becomes the case for you, please keep me in mind. Be well. Sending love and light. Sharon Pope

    by Sharon Pope on July 3rd, 2017 at 4:37 pm
  3. I have been feeling those exact words towards my husband for a while now. We have been together for 20yrs and married for 16yrs. We have 4 children and we both are 40yrs old. He does not know I have such feelings towards him. I pray about it constantly.

    by Jennifer on August 24th, 2016 at 4:26 pm
  4. Jennifer – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling with this really important issue in your marriage. Watch this teaching call I gave and pay attention to the part about taking steps 10 ft at a time. It is only through action that you’ll be able to gain some clarity. Just waiting (and praying TO God, as opposed to listening for His whispers) will only keep you stuck until the pain becomes unbearable (when those whispers turn into bricks upside our heads….I speak from personal experience on that one). Here’s the link to the teaching call / webinar: https://fccdl.in/urLDbXEeh

    by Sharon Pope on August 25th, 2016 at 2:36 pm
  5. Jennifer – You have to open up the lines of communication with your husband and tell him how you feel before it becomes too late. If you keep doing the same thing, reacting in the same way, not saying what needs to be said, nothing will change. It’s actually been my experience that it will actually get worse over time…If you want a guide for this journey…I’m here. http://www.sharonpopetruth.com/truth-clarity-session

    by Sharon Pope on July 3rd, 2017 at 4:34 pm
  6. This is me and I cannot put into words the relief I feel knowing I am not alone. I seriously thought I was going crazy.

    by Robbyn on October 6th, 2016 at 8:09 am
  7. I’m so sorry Robbyn. I think it helps to know that you’re not alone and that you’re not crazy…(if you had any idea the thousands of women that have reached out to me…..), but here’s the truth: Most of those thousands of women won’t solve the problem. They won’t attempt to make a sincere effort to fix what’s not working in the marriage and re-connect and they won’t leave either…they will remain stuck, unhappy and lonely for a very long time because they’re paralyzed, not knowing how to stay and not knowing how to go either. I don’t want that for you: http://www.sharonpopetruth.com/truth-clarity-session

    by Sharon Pope on July 3rd, 2017 at 4:30 pm
  8. This put into words exactly what I have attempted to express to my husband. I, like Robbyn, find relief in knowing that I am not the only one out there married to a great guy that I’m not in love with anymore.

    by Jackie on June 14th, 2017 at 5:15 pm
  9. I’m so sorry Jackie. I think it helps to know that you’re not alone and that you’re not crazy…(if you had any idea the thousands of women that have reached out to me…..), but here’s the truth: Most of those thousands of women won’t solve the problem. They won’t attempt to make a sincere effort to fix what’s not working in the marriage and re-connect and they won’t leave either…they will remain stuck, unhappy and lonely for a very long time because they’re paralyzed, not knowing how to stay and not knowing how to go either. I don’t want that for you: http://www.sharonpopetruth.com/truth-clarity-session

    by Sharon Pope on July 3rd, 2017 at 4:29 pm
  10. This is me and my husband. I cannot put into words the pain I received when my husband told me he was not in love with me. He loves me just not in love. We have been married for 30 years and still live together. We do have sex once a week and sleep in separate rooms. He tells me we have no one else so we need to stay together. What are your thoughts.

    by Sandra on June 15th, 2017 at 6:01 pm
  11. I could not disagree more. I think you both deserve to be truly happy and IN LOVE. So, either do the work to see if it is possible to re-connect or lovingly release each other so you can live in love every day. Love is all we’re here for….
    If you want help to see if you can re-connect, sign-up for a complimentary Truth & Clarity session with a member of my team to see if there’s a fit for us to work together. This is what I do……Here’s the link: http://www.sharonpopetruth.com/truth-clarity-session

    by Sharon Pope on July 3rd, 2017 at 4:24 pm
Leave a Comment