“You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weights you down.” Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon
Last week one of my coaching clients stopped working with me.
When she came to me she had one foot out the door and no idea how to save a marriage that was essentially on life support.
Now several months later, she and her husband have re-connected, they’re communicating every day and they’re enjoying doing things together that they haven’t done in years.
She also is now equipped with all the tools she needs to sustain this connection in ...continue reading...
“What is now proved, was only once imagined.” William Blake
I’m in a coaching session with my new client Eve. She tells me about how she used to be so brave in her life, traveling to different parts of the world, running a marathon, even learning to fly an airplane(!).
She’s wondering how she got to this place where she feels genuinely lost after spending the last 12 years in marriage that never felt good from the start.
She’s wondering how she became so disconnected from herself.
And she’s been wondering what happened to that brave woman…and she ...continue reading...
“The details of what you’re fighting over are negligible compared to your innermost experience begging to be heard.” Sevin Philips, MFT
Many of my clients who are struggling in their marriages attend marriage counseling with their husbands, in addition to working with me. They share with me the context of their conversations and progress (or lack thereof) as a result of those sessions. And I fear that through those conversations, we’re not getting to the heart of the matter.
It’s time to take the conversation much deeper.
My client Abbey goes marriage counseling with her husband twice each week, ...continue reading...
“The longest journey you will make in your life is from your head to your heart.” Sioux legend
Tammy was a woman that found me through Facebook. She had read the blog post I wrote on narcissism and knew she needed help getting out of her toxic, abusive and emotionally destructive relationship. She’s given up everything to be with a man that makes her feel isolated, weak and lost.
A woman who was once happy, positive and confident is now – 4 years later after falling in love with a ...continue reading...
“Narcissists can make you fall in love with them so hard that it feels like you’re giving up a part of your heart to leave them.” Dr. Judith Orloff
I’ve often said that “One day I’ll write about narcissism,” as I see my clients struggle with it and as I recall my own personal struggle with it many years ago. That day is today. This is an excerpt from that book. My prayer is that it’s helpful for you or someone you love.
I don’t know if our culture has bred an entire generation of narcissists, if we ...continue reading...
“Any action is often better than no action, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time. If it is a mistake, at least you learn something, in which case, it’s no longer a mistake. If you remain stuck, you learn nothing.” Eckhart Tolle
My client, who I’ll refer to here as Mary to protect her privacy, is stuck in indecision about her marriage.
Marys’ relationship with her husband, Dan, has grown stale over their 16 year marriage. They stopped having meaningful conversations or dedicated time together once they began having children.
“This self-love you think you’re looking for is not love of self, it’s love that is self. And there’s a difference.” Abraham Hicks
This week, I spoke to several women – spread out all over the country – who are struggling with the concept of self-love.
They know they need more confidence and courage in order to live the adventurous lives they desire.
They know they need to be more gentle and compassionate with themselves so they can stop the self-sabotage.
They know they need self-love in order to find the deep, soulful, lasting love they desire in ...continue reading...
“Just like the lotus we too have the ability to rise from the mud, bloom out of the darkness, and radiate into the world.” Author Unknown
I don’t go to this place very often. I don’t go there because it’s dark and heavy. I don’t go there because I am such a lover and believer in the perfection of the journey. I don’t go there because I really have forgiven myself.
But once in a while, I go down the slippery slope of beating myself up for the woman I used to be:
I used to be a woman ...continue reading...
“If you live in the questions, life will move you into the answers.” Deepak Chopra
As a creator, my job is to create. My medium of choice at the moment is writing. So, I follow the flow of my life and the challenges I hear from women all over the world as my source of inspiration.
My job isn’t to judge the quality of my work or to force it on people. My job is to create what is calling to be created in my soul and trust that those who need my message will find it.
Here’s how ...continue reading...
“But even when I stop crying, even when we fall asleep…this will leave another scar. No one will see it. No one will know. But it will be there. And eventually, all of the scars will have scars, and that’s all I’ll be – one big scar of a love gone wrong.” Amanda Grace, But I Love Him
Physical abuse can be easy to spot. There’s no denying bruised ribs, a swollen eye or as is the case with my loving and strong mother-in-law, burned skin all over one of her arms; a reminder that never goes away.