Why We Choose to Cheat Instead of Leave a Bad Marriage

If You Keep Doing the Same Thing, You Should Expect the Same Result.

Why We Choose to Cheat Instead of Leave a Bad Marriage

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Why We Choose to Cheat Instead of Leave a Bad Marriage

“The truly scary thing about undiscovered lies is that they have a greater capacity to diminish us than exposed ones. They erode our strength, our self-esteem, our very foundation.” Cheryl Hughes

My client, Susan, was cheating on her husband of 27 years. The affair had been going on for two years and even though she knew it was wrong and destructive and disrespectful to her husband, she wouldn’t turn away from it. It provided her the simple, but dangerous distraction from the emptiness that existed within her marriage. Her marriage wasn’t bad, it was just empty: no connection, no ...continue reading...

Posted in: Seeking Clarity in My Marriage: Should I Stay or Should I Go? | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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  1. Hi Sharon,
    Wow. You could’ve written that about my life. After 27 years of marriage I did take the scary leap and filed for divorce. I am leaving a verbally and emotionally abusive marriage with a Cerebral Narcissist. Young moms who are divorcing will ask me why I stayed so long. The abuse was very insidious and covert. And when I stopped “complying and supplying” him, he became someone I no longer recognized. Evil. Pure evil. Like your client, I had an affair. Something I would judge others harshly for in the past. I never in my wildest dreams would’ve thought I would be that person. And I must tell you, it was the worst and best thing I ever did. This affair opened my eyes to what was really happening in my marriage. I needed to feel validated and desired. For the most part my marriage was sexless. And I believed i thought I was undeserving and disgusting to him. That’s what he wanted me to believe. But you are right. The affair was a soul sucker. It went against everything I held dear. My values were broken. And the red flags of him using me for sex were clear. But I chose to dismiss them. He was married too, but wanted a side piece. Me. I tried justifying it all I could. I even told my husband about the affair. BIG MISTAKE. You don’t tell a Narcississt you cheated on him. He is determined to destroy my name and me, but I am not willing to give him anymore than he has taken from me!

    by Lisa on April 20th, 2018 at 6:12 pm
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How to Heal After an Affair

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”  Jalaluddin Rumi

 

The moment when you find out your spouse has cheated on you…

Words fail to describe the gravity of how it feels.

It hits you like a ton of bricks…

You’re in shock…

You can’t breathe…

A million unanswered questions spin around and around in your mind…

Then slowly, as time passes, you begin to walk out of the shock and fog and get to a place where you want to heal the hurt. That’s the time when you’re ready to look at the cracks in ...continue reading...

Posted in: Fixing the Disconnect in My Marriage | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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When Good Women Cheat

“We are the ones who developed the construct for what is right and what is wrong – mostly in an effort to control others so that we could feel more comfortable, more secure, more right (and righteous).” Sharon Pope, What is Cheating Isn’t Wrong?

 

My client Heather has been married to her husband for more than twenty years and they’ve certainly hit some speed bumps along the way. When she was pregnant and on bed-rest, he had an emotional affair with another woman. When her mother passed away, Heather needed comfort and understanding; he didn’t even go ...continue reading...

Posted in: Seeking Clarity in My Marriage: Should I Stay or Should I Go? | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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What if Cheating Isn’t Wrong?

There are hundreds of paths up the mountain, all leading to the same place, so it doesn’t matter which path you take. The only person wasting time is the one who runs around the mountain, telling everyone that his or her path is wrong. Hindu Proverb

 

I’ve gotten asked lots of questions and involved in lots of discussions this week surrounding the topic of cheating:

Is anyone faithful anymore?

My husband thinks that if I keep losing weight, I will eventually cheat on him.

I haven’t cheated, but I’ve thought about it.

I didn’t mean for it to ...continue reading...

Posted in: Seeking Clarity in My Marriage: Should I Stay or Should I Go? | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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