“Knowing when to walk away, is wisdom. Being able to, is courage. Walking away with grace, and your head held high is dignity.” Ritu Ghatourey
By the time people find their way to my work, they’ve typically been struggling in their marriages for years, sometimes decades. But how do you know when your marriage is over?
There are probably gazillions of articles written that will give you the three most common attributes in a relationship that are tell-tale signs that your marriage is over (or should be over, in the writer’s opinion).
I don’t think that’s helpful at ...continue reading...
“The only way love can last a lifetime is if it’s unconditional.” Stephen Kendrick
Loving unconditionally is easy to say, living it is so much more difficult.
When my husband is telling me how beautiful I am and doing the things that make me happy, I am loving toward him and think loving thoughts about him. When he does something that makes me feel hurt or tells how frustrated he is with me, I shut down or punch back and become hurtful in return.
That’s loving conditionally.
When we feel heard and understood, that feels like standing in ...continue reading...
“Holding an unhealthy relationship close is not love.” Gennon Doyle Melton
You say you love him, but he hurts you, belittles you, controls you…
He brings out the worst in you, causing you to react in unhealthy ways where you don’t even recognize who you’ve become, but “damnit I can’t support myself on my own…”
You say you can’t breathe, but you cannot let him go either.
This is the conundrum you may be facing right now in some way shape or form: You know the relationship as it is isn’t working. You know you’re not happy. You think ...continue reading...
“I dislike the work self-help. Self-awareness, yes, but not self-help.” Deepak Chopra
Okay…..I know…..I know……Clearly, as a Love Coach I exist and live within the self-help industry. I’ve written seven self-help books and blog every few days about how to create loving relationships that feel good to your soul (and how to change or release the ones that don’t).
But here’s where I disagree with what’s happening in the field of self-help:
You are Not Broken.
I know it benefits us as coaches, healers, therapists, etc…to convince you that you are broken and that the only way to ...continue reading...
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used to create them.” Albert Einstein
I received a client application recently that shared with me, “We have so many problems and we’ve been disconnected for so long that I don’t know if it will do any good for me to work on the marriage if he’s not also working on fixing the problems in our marriage. Is it possible for me to fix a marriage by myself?”
Many of us believe that in order to fix a relationship, both parties need to be present and actively working on ...continue reading...