“…just as darkness is nothing but the absence of light, so fear is nothing but the absence of love.” Marianne Williamson
Alena had been divorced over a year. Everyone told her the first year is the hardest, so why hadn’t the pain of losing her 24 year marriage dissipated by now?
Their marriage wasn’t good. He was verbally and emotionally abusive to her throughout the last 10 years.
And although intellectually she knows she’s better off now without that abuse, she can’t seem to make her heart understand. She misses him, misses having a partner in her life ...continue reading...
“The most important questions in life can never be answered by anyone except oneself.” John Fowles
When my first husband and I went on a boating trip with some friends, we decided to stop in a cove so everyone could jump in the water for a bit. I hopped onto a floating raft. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes behind my sunglasses while I floated on the water and lay in the sun. I’m not certain how long it was, but after a while I heard my name being called from far away and it startled me.
...continue reading...“You know truth by the way it feels.” India Arie
Last night I was having a session with a client that I’ve been working with and know well. She had been married for 30 years when her husband told her it was over. She had endured decades of emotional abuse and manipulation inside of that marriage. He made her believe that his unhappiness was her fault.
She would ask, “How was your day?” and he would say, “Stop being so controlling and trying to get inside my head.”
On a vacation to Cancun with friends, he kept himself intoxicated ...continue reading...
“…before a wound can heal, it must be seen.” Julia Cameron
It’s not that I think affirmations are a bad thing; I don’t.
The mind can be incredibly powerful.
But too often, we try to use affirmations to cover-up something that doesn’t feel good – sort of like covering a dilapidated room with pink paint. It might look okay on the surface, but there’s something more going on here.
When we’re in pain, we have two choices: We can pay attention to it and heal it or we can suppress it, ignore it, and pretend like it doesn’t ...continue reading...
“There must be those among whom we can sit down and weep, and still be counted as warriors.” Adrienne Rich, Sources
Six years ago when I went through a series of incredibly painful breakups, I wasn’t a Master Life Coach then; I didn’t even know what a life coach was. So, I fumbled around a lot trying to find my way out of the pain. And that process was much longer and more difficult than it needed to be.
Like most people, my first line of support were my best girlfriends: the ones that would let me cry ...continue reading...
“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.” Lao Tzu
Do you want to find a deep, soulful, lasting love?
Do you want to heal from a painful breakup?
Do you need more clarity about your current relationship?
This is the work I do; this is all I do. And I’m fortunate enough to be able to serve in a way that aligns with my soul.
Each month, I only take on 4 new clients to work with me individually. And I have come to a place in my practice where I ...continue reading...
“The Universe isn’t invested in giving us what we want. It’s invested in teaching us how to love.” Marianne Williamson
We may not be able to choose who we fall in love with, but we most certainly get to choose how we love.
We can love with fire or with fear.
We can love with peace or with passion.
We can love with honesty and openness or with doubt and hesitation.
We can even choose to love with our hearts or our minds. One leads us to deep intimacy, the other leads to pragmatic numbness.
We get to ...continue reading...
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
I have learned the most in my life from my relationships; some of those lessons have been from joyful experiences and deep, meaningful relationships, while most certainly most of my lessons came through painful experiences and broken relationships.
Of course some of those lessons come for us in the form of heartbreak:
That lover that tells you that he loves you, but is not in love with you. That moment when you realize that the husband you spent ...continue reading...“But even when I stop crying, even when we fall asleep…this will leave another scar. No one will see it. No one will know. But it will be there. And eventually, all of the scars will have scars, and that’s all I’ll be – one big scar of a love gone wrong.” Amanda Grace, But I Love Him
Physical abuse can be easy to spot. There’s no denying bruised ribs, a swollen eye or as is the case with my loving and strong mother-in-law, burned skin all over one of her arms; a reminder that never goes away.
“You will know you are on a journey with a Shaman Lover if you feel a sudden loss of control, a fearsome sense of abandon, and especially an air of foreign-ness…If you thought you would be attracted to someone with money, he is broke; if you wanted respectability, she’s a gypsy; if you longed for sweet romance, he’s mean; if you wanted deep peace, she’s trouble.” Elizabeth Lesser, Broken Open
Elizabeth Lesser calls him the Shaman Lover. Katherine Woodward Thomas refers to this experience as the Lightning Bolt moment. For me, it was The Awakening.
I was in a ...continue reading...
Stuck in one such battle not knowing whether to listen to heart or mind.