How to Admit Your Role in a Failed Relationship (without Blaming Yourself)

If You Keep Doing the Same Thing, You Should Expect the Same Result.

How to Admit Your Role in a Failed Relationship (without Blaming Yourself)

Posts Tagged 'alternatives to therapy'

How to Admit Your Role in a Failed Relationship (without Blaming Yourself)

When a relationship “fails,” it’s easy to look back on it with blame and shame. We want to point fingers and attribute the pain to external forces (more often than not, by blaming our exes). But the truth is, every relationship is a dynamic. So when that dynamic spirals into dysfunction, we need to recognize our part.

Let’s take an example to explore what I’m talking about further. Caren had a belief that all men leave. And she had good reason to believe this: her father left her mother and the family when she was five years old. In her ...continue reading...

Posted in: Healing after Heartbreak or Divorce | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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What to Do when Your Relationship with a Narcissist (Inevitably) Falls Apart

A woman I’ll call Bethany got in touch with me asking for help. She was 47 years old, had two children, and had been married for 23 years to a man with significant narcissistic tendencies. Although their marriage had never been great, the last decade was brutal.

The more time we spent together, the more I learned about their dynamic. He would manipulate her to suit his own desires, withholding love and attention until she finally gave in. He lied pathologically and made no apologies for having multiple affairs or drinking and gambling too much.

She had felt so ...continue reading...

Posted in: Healing after Heartbreak or Divorce | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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Four Reasons Why I Make No Apologies for My Price

“The best investment you can make is in yourself.” Warren Buffett


I am not an inexpensive coach. And I make no apologies for that. Here’s why…

What you’re investing in is the result. Not my time. Not the value of the tools. Not my background, education or experience. Although all those things contribute to the result, what you’re investing in is a proven process to get you The Result.

Want to fix your marriage? What would that be worth to you to wake up each day feeling good about your husband, your marriage and the kind of relationship you’re ...continue reading...
Posted in: Truth | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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Stop Engaging in “The Crazy.”

“When you see crazy coming, cross the street.” Iyanla Vanzant


Some weeks there are consistent themes across my clients, similarities in the struggles or challenges they’re facing, making it very clear what I need to write about. This was one of those weeks.

Here’s just one example:

Lynn is in the process of unwinding an abusive and controlling marriage that has taken its toll on her self-esteem, her value and worth and also on the relationship she has with her family and her children. She has expressed to her husband that she does not want him sleeping in ...continue reading...

Posted in: Seeking Clarity in My Marriage: Should I Stay or Should I Go? | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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How Is This Possible In Coaching?

“What is now proved, was only once imagined.” William Blake


I’m in a coaching session with my new client Eve. She tells me about how she used to be so brave in her life, traveling to different parts of the world, running a marathon, even learning to fly an airplane(!).

She’s wondering how she got to this place where she feels genuinely lost after spending the last 12 years in marriage that never felt good from the start.

She’s wondering how she became so disconnected from herself.

And she’s been wondering what happened to that brave woman…and she ...continue reading...

Posted in: Inspiration for Myself & My Relationships | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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  1. Thank you for all your information. Its inspiring and brings me hope. I’ll continue to follow your free information as I am in an unfortunate financial bind. Thank you agin for your encouraging words.

    My best,
    Heather Harris

    by Heather Harris on August 8th, 2017 at 7:11 pm
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90% of You Will Not Attempt to Solve the Problem and More than 50% of You will Divorce.

“I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy. I am telling you it is going to be worth it.” Art Williams


Over the years I have spoken with thousands of women who are struggling in their marriages and here’s what I’ve found: 90% of these women will not ever make a genuine attempt to fix the problems in their marriages. Sure, they might pick up a book or vent to their girlfriends about their husbands, but that’s not making a conscious, concerted effort to changing how you show up inside that relationship to see if the marriage ...continue reading...

Posted in: Fixing the Disconnect in My Marriage | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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