Staying Stuck in the Questions

“Don’t be afraid of the answers, be afraid of not asking the questions.” Jennifer Hudson

Katherine has been married for 27 years. Her kids are grown, out of the house and having children of their own. She’s successful in her career and has a wide circle of friends. She has to beg her husband to be intimate with her. She shared with me that she’s never felt desired or beautiful and she’s lonelier than ever before.

And now the question that’s screaming in Katherine’s ear every day is whether she should stay in her marriage and try to make it work for her or lovingly release it to attempt to find what her heart longs for. Should she stay where it’s safe, but painful, or venture into the complete unknown where it’s both frightening and free.

It’s easy to stay stuck.

The biggest questions our lives can leave us paralyzed.

Here’s why:

Once we have clarity, there’s usually some next step that can feel pretty scary:

When you find the courage to open your heart to love again, you risk heartbreak.

When you start a business or pursue a dream, what if you fail?

The moment you realize your long-term relationship is over, what do you do now?

Staying stuck in an unanswered question means we don’t have to change or risk anything.

We never move forward.

We never get the clarity and answers that feel like truth to our souls.

But there’s the very real possibility that the situation could get worse.

That nagging toothache turns into a root canal.

Those little white lies we allow become a series of big, ugly, painful lies that poison the relationship.

Years without passion initially left us numb and disconnected, but over time turned into loneliness and despair.

Life’s biggest questions typically don’t age well. And some questions demand answers.

Not your mother’s answers.

Not your friend’s answers.

Not your church’s or society’s or culture’s answers.

But your answers, for your heart, your soul and your one precious life.

stuck in the questions