Soft and Strong

“The softness of a person’s nature doesn’t mean weakness, because nothing is softer than water but its force can break the strongest rocks.” Syed Mustafa Faraz Ahmad

 

I know a lot of strong women.

I was raised by one.

I am one myself.

Some of the greatest changes in the world were a result of women’s efforts.

I could argue that the world would literally shut down if it weren’t for strong women showing up for themselves and others every day.

There’s a reason that women are the ones who can create and give birth to new life; that can’t be random.

We’ve had to fight for our place at the table; it certainly wasn’t handed to us.

And to do all that, we’ve been taught to be strong and resilient, while also being the caretaker and the nurturer, the one who places everyone else’s needs before our own.

I have a new client who I’ll refer to as Samantha. She is a successful doctor running her own practice. In our first meeting together she shared with me that her mother taught her to get her education and never be in a position where you have to depend on a man. Samantha’s profession is dominated by men and she’s aware that in order to be taken seriously, she has to bring more than her fair share of masculine energy to her work.

But what I loved was when she told me that even though she can be the strong and saavy businesswoman when she needs to be, that’s not the kind of woman she wants to be in her most intimate relationships.

She wants to be both soft and strong.

She wants to be cared for and adored by a man. She also wants to be respected and trusted by that same man. When she comes home at night, she wants to be able to turn it all off to a certain degree.

Just because we can do everything doesn’t mean we should have to do everything. Strong women don’t want someone to boss around and have no voice or opinion of their own. They want an equal, someone who will challenge them and help them become the best version of themselves They want someone who will walk this life beside them….not in front of them, but not behind them either.

There’s strength in softness.

When it’s done intentionally, it creates space for the men in our lives to step forward.

When we allow others to take care of us, it gives us the opportunity to breathe freely for a moment, to create some ease in our lives.

When we trust our most important relationships with our precious hearts, it opens the door for more connectedness and increased intimacy.

Softness isn’t always weakness, as we’ve been led to believe. And we can be both soft and strong, simultaneously.

We can soften in our most intimate and personal relationships, without it degrading any of our power.

As a matter of fact, what I’ve learned is that giving myself permission to soften in my relationship with my husband, Derrick, has actually makes me feel more powerful, more confident knowing that his love and support is like the wind at my back.