“If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s.” Joseph Campbell
How many books have you read seeking answers for your marriage?
How many therapists have you sought out?
How many Facebook groups have you joined?
How many friends have you confided in hoping they could provide you an answer you could face?
How many nights have you lied awake scrolling through article after article looking for something that resonates, something that could make the difference in your struggling marriage?
My client, Lori, had been feeling disconnected from her husband for years. At first she thought, This will pass….it’s just a phase….
But it didn’t pass. It got worse.
They would go months without touching one another and began living like roommates.
And as the distance between them grew, so did her resentments about how they had gotten to this place in their relationship.
And after a while, she wasn’t sure she wanted to fix it any more.
So she started seeking answers…through any and every source she could find that would give her the clarity she needed about her marriage: books, articles, friends…you name it. But nothing seemed to work or be the difference-maker for her life.
She knew very clearly that the way she and her husband were together now was not working…
She didn’t know if, at this point, it could be turned around…
And frankly, she had grown tired of trying…
Tired of searching in every corner for the answer…
Tired of feeling sad and alone…
And although Lori didn’t like to think about it often, she could feel how, as she was getting older, time was speeding up. And time was running out. And she had grown tired of waiting, feeling like she was wasting precious time.
She needed her answer.
Not some author’s answer, not her friend’s answer, not some therapist’s answer, not even some life coach’s answer. She needed her answer – the answer she knew she could live with and not look back with regret.
When we’re seeking answers, it’s a logical reaction to poll our friends or seek guidance through Google…but if that alone solved the issue of the disconnect within our marriages, wouldn’t we all be in a better place by now? Wouldn’t our marriages feel loving and connected? Wouldn’t be feel adored and loved inside of our most important relationship?
I wish it was that easy…
While it’s not easy to get an answer that you can believe in, it’s not impossible either.
After working together for several weeks (not months or years…), Lisa had the clarity that she needed about her marriage. She never second-guessed her decision and although it was scary, she was able to move forward.
Some of my clients find their way back to their husbands…
But every one of them uncovers an answer that allows them to feel peace again, stopping the endless mental and emotional struggle and seeking answers outside of themselves that don’t feel like truth.