She helps women get the clarity they need to know whether they should stay or go in their marriages and heal from the heartbreak of divorce so they can move forward.
She has been published more than a dozen times in various online publications and most recently, featured in The New York Times’ column, Modern Love.
Sharon reached the top of her profession in corporate marketing after nearly 20 years prior to becoming a life coach. For coach training, she trained under Martha Beck, PhD at The Martha Beck Institute. Sharon holds an undergraduate degree from Ohio University and an MBA from Ashland University.
She lives in Columbus, Ohio with the love of her life: her husband, Derrick.
Download one of Sharon’s free ebooks at: https://www.sharonpopetruth.com/love-and-light/
The problems in a struggling marriage become more apparent once the children leave the family home, which has led to the divorce rate more than doubling for couples over 50 years old.* Sharon Pope shares how more couples are taking stock of their lives and their marriages after the children leave home, and realizing what they have is not enough for what they want for this second half of their lives. And that leaves them with some decisions to make.
*The Grey Divorce Revolution, National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University
The divorce rate for US adults ages 50 and older has roughly doubled since the 1990s. We know the stats, but we don’t know why it’s increasing. After speaking with thousands of women about their struggling and disconnected marriages, Sharon shares the top three reasons she hears time and again for why the existing marriage that worked for decades is no longer working for them and what it is these women over 50 are seeking in the second half of their lives.
With a divorce happening every 36 seconds in the US, half of all American children will witness the breakup of their parent’s marriage. And while there is plenty of research that will tell you how damaging divorce is on children compared with children in non-divorced households, none of those studies compare that data of children whose parents divorced with children living in a home where the parents are still together, but extraordinarily unhappy. Sharon challenges the concept of staying together for the kids when we’re painfully unhappy, marriages and what we’re teaching our children by doing so?
Studies are showing that fewer couples are defining their relationship as happy year over year according to the National Opinion Research Center at The University of Chicago. When you combine that with the reported national average of at least 40% of marriages ending in divorce, you might assume you’re nose-diving toward disaster when your marriage starts to struggle. But that’s only true if you continue to use the same thinking, actions and behaviors that got you to this place in your marriage. There is an opportunity to change how you and your spouse are in relationship with one another and creates essentially a 2.0 version of your marriage.
If a spouse finds out that you had an affair, 90% of the time and emotional energy spent dissecting and attempting to heal the problems in your marriage will revolve around the affair. When the truth is that the affair was a symptom of the problem, before it ever became a problem.
We treat affairs just like we do cancer these days. Everyone wants to talk about the cancer and fix the cancer with chemo, radiation, and any medicine we can throw at it. No one wants to talk about what caused the healthy cells within the body to turn cancerous, to understand and heal the root cause.
Sharon explains how when you don’t treat the cancer (the root cause of the problems in your marriage), it spreads and becomes a bigger problem (an affair).
When the marriage isn’t working and one or both people are feeling disconnected, lonely and stuck, not knowing how to make it better and not knowing how to let it go either, it’s time to make sure we’re asking the right questions, to make sure we’re seeing the troubles clearly and how we’ve unintentionally contributed to the disconnect. Sharon shares the three best questions you can ask yourself when things aren’t getting better in your disconnected marriage.
We went to school for decades to learn the important subjects like math and science, reading and English. But in all those years, where was the class on love and relationships? And at the end of our days, the only thing that will really matter will be the quality of our relationships throughout our lives.
Because we’ve not been taught how to do this, we use the trial and error approach in our most important relationships. And we make more mistakes than we care to admit; sometimes having to make the same mistakes over and over again until the lesson is finally learned. But this is the long, hard way to learn about love and we end up hurting others and ourselves in the process. It’s actually surprising that our divorce rates aren’t higher than the reported national average of 40%-50%.
When marriages are falling apart and at least one of us is weighing the choice between staying and going, fearful thoughts bring on big questions and make it virtually impossible to move ahead one way or the other: Will I hurt my children? Will I be able to support myself? What if the grass isn’t actually greener on the other side? What if I never meet someone and I end up all alone? What will family and friends say? And even, will this crush my spouse?
Before you can make a decision whether to stay or go, you need the one missing piece to ensure it’s a choice that’s right for you, and one that you won’t later regret: Clarity.
From the moment we give birth, we are either directly or indirectly told that the child we brought into this world is now our top priority; period. Our children become a priority above our dreams and desires, a priority above our own health and well-being, and a priority over our marriages. So for the next few decades we pour virtually all of our love and energy into our children and place our marriages on auto-pilot, thinking that will self-sustain and then are shocked when we find it on life support. Our kids deserve a happy home. They deserve happy parents. They deserve to have role models for healthy and emotionally connected relationships. Sharon will share 3 things you can do right now to turn the tide in your marriage if you’ve just spent years placing your kids ahead of it.
Because most marriages end in hurt or anger, most divorces amplify that hurt and anger. Each spouse has given up trying to be happy in the relationship, so now each just wants to be right. That is the perfect setting for years of anger and venom towards one another and tens of thousands of dollars in lawyer bills. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Sharon Pope shares an alternative approach and specific next steps in order to keep it peaceful…..not just for the kids, but also for your own well-being, your sanity, and the well-being of your collective bank accounts.
Sharon is a certified Master Life Coach and a Six-Time #1 International Best-Selling author, specializing in love and relationships. Click here to get the clarity you need to know if you should stay or go in your marriage so you can either make the marriage feel good again or lovingly release it.
These can be adjusted for the specific segment topic.
1. Who is Sharon Pope? What do you do?
2. So why love and relationships? Of all the things you could coach people in, why love and relationships?
3. It seems like sustaining a happy marriage these days is becoming increasingly difficult. Is it that our expectations are too high, that we’re more selfish or are we just not equipped to be successful?
4. Clearly your clients don’t contact you when their marriage is great, so what are some of the challenges you hear time and again with your clients?
5. You often say that before you can make a decision about a struggling relationship, you need clarity. What do you mean by that and why is it so important?
6. What are some of the most common mistakes you see couples make?
7. There are clearly an increasing number of divorces occurring for people later in life – they’re over 50, the kids are gone, the marriage may have lasted two decades already…..what’s happening now that’s causing this dynamic?
8. When the relationship is really struggling and you’re both miserable, is the only option then to divorce?
9. If a marriage is going to make it through the troubled times, you’ve said that you have to create a 2.0 version of your marriage together. What is a 2.0 marriage?
10. It seems like you don’t have a preference for your clients…they can stay in their marriage or they can go. You’re different in that way, aren’t you?
11. Communication and communication are such an important part of marriage, aren’t they? What would you tell someone who wanted to feel more connected and communicate more with their spouse to do?
12. How is it possible that we could be doing more harm than good when we stay together to provide stability for the kids?
13. What’s the single biggest relationship mistake that everyone seems to make?
14. How are affairs like cancer?
15. You are in your second marriage. What lessons did you learn from your first marriage and how is it different this second time around?
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