“Life is a terminal condition. We’re all going to die…but we all, in some ways, wait for permission to live.” Kris Carr
We came into this world absolutely perfect.
We ate when we were hungry. We slept when we were tired (regardless of where we were or what was going on around us). When our parents said, “Let’s go to the park to play,” we never once stopped to ask ourselves if we deserved an afternoon of playing at the park or if we had done enough work to justify a few hours of pure, unadulterated joy.
Most of what I do as a coach is help people un-learn all the lies we’ve picked-up along this journey called life and come to believe as truth.
It’s a peeling back of the layers of bullshit we’ve added on over time until we’re utterly unrecognizable – even to ourselves.
Your life should look perfect. You should have the good job, the good husband, the 2.4 perfect children, the 4 bedroom home in the suburbs, a good relationship with your parents and you should shop at CostCo. That’s far more important than living a passionate life that’s filled with joy and adventure and wonder.
You should somehow magically be able to achieve balance in your life between work and home, as if that’s even possible for more than 38 seconds on any given day.
Work should be hard (that’s why they call it work) and you have to endure that in order to provide for your family so that one day you can retire – and then you’ll be happy. It’s simply too much to ask of the Universe to actually make a living doing what you love.
You should be nice to people (regardless of how they treat you).
You should be helpful. You should put other’s needs before your own (especially your children’s). You wouldn’t want people to think you were selfish, after all.
The best part of my coaching practice on any given day is challenging these deeply held beliefs. I love pulling lies out from the dark corners, shining a light on them and asking the question, “Really? Is that true?”
I give people permission to do the things they WANT to do – without guilt or shame or judgment.
I give women permission to embrace the part of themselves that is a little messy and rebellious.
I give (my few, but very brave) male clients permission to say “I don’t know” or “I want someone to take care of me once in a while.”
I give mothers permission to put their needs before their children’s wants.
I give seekers permission to trust that what they’re experiencing is not a coincidence.
I give my clients who are wanting to find love in their lives permission to forgive all the past hurts (even the ones that still sting) so that they don’t carry that baggage into their next relationship.
I give my business clients permission to dramatically raise their prices (and feel good about it).
And I give people permission to want what they want, without lowering their standards or their expectations (of themselves or anyone else).
What do you need to give yourself permission to do today?
What do you need to give yourself permission to do in your life? In your relationships? In your business?