Our Happiness: Our Job

“You have to learn to get up from the table when love is no longer being served.” Nina Simone

Anne has an ex-husband that is also a part-time terrorist; I’m convinced of it. She also has a business relationship that’s borderline abusive that she’s trying to un-wind. She’s an incredibly caring person with a good spirit and never treats anyone unkindly. Anne just wants the people in her life to treat her with the same kindness and respect that she extends to everyone else.

Kayla is separated from her husband. He wants her to become a Stepford Wife with a plastered smile and serving a tray of appetizers at his next corporate gathering in their stunning suburban home (…trust me when I tell you that’s not going to happen). Kayla wants him to show both initiative and effort in order to save their marriage (…neither of which he’s ever demonstrated that he’s capable of in the history of their marriage).

Brooke’s sister makes consistently rude, passive-aggressive comments towards her. These experiences don’t bring Brooke happiness; they just deplete her and make her a combination of angry, sad and hurt.

This sweet young woman that I’ve never met, who lives in Europe reached out to me this week because every time she sees or speaks with her mother, it takes her DAYS to recover. She feels hurt, abandoned and abused by her mother. But…..it’s her mother, after all. She can’t turn her back on her own mother, can she?

 

Sometimes you have to just love from people from a distance.

Sometimes you have to place boundaries that feel unnatural.

Sometimes you have to lovingly step away from relationships rather than continuing the maddening dance of trying to get them to be who you need or want them to be so that you’ll feel happier.

If you placed your hand on a hot burner, you would immediately pull your hand away. But sometimes we stay in relationships that hurt because we don’t realize that we have the power to stop the pain.

 

Here’s the deeper truth:

Other people’s happiness: Not our jobs.

Other people’s opinions of us: Not our business.

Our wishes for them to grow or evolve or become: Not our journey.

 

We are the keepers and the creators of our own happiness. No one else can do it and it’s not their job.

We are the caretakers of caring for ourselves. How can we expect to be a priority to anyone else if we’re not a priority in our own lives?

We are the lovers of your own hearts. We just need to begin treating it with the same compassion and kindness we’ve sought from others. That’s our only job.

not our jobs 

Tell the Truth. Show up in Love. Live in Freedom.