“What you focus on expands. So focus on what you want, not what you do not want.” Esther Jno-Charles
If you have been struggling in your marriage feeling disconnected and alone, I have some bad news.
It’s about to get worse as you spend more time together.
Potentially…. much worse.
Think about it…
When we were able to go to work and go about our lives under a normal amount of day-to-day stress, the issues inside the relationship had been present for months, years, or even decades.
Now, this crazy, scary virus has us all staying at home essentially 24×7, spending more time together and our stress and worry have become insanely high.
That isn’t exactly an environment that is conducive to overcoming long-standing relationship challenges.
And worse, it carries the potential for problems to intensify between you.
If you and your partner have been emotionally distant from one another for a while, it can feel like you’re living with a stranger. For now, see if you can cultivate a sense of curiosity about your spouse. Assume that you will learn something new about him that helps you understand him better or even see him differently.
You know how right before you are ready to buy a new car, you see that car everywhere you go? This is a bit like that…..
Whatever you’re focused upon, I promise you will see it.
If you want to find fault, there will plenty with which you can find fault.
If you focus upon all the things that irritate you, you will find lots of irritations.
And if you want to learn something new about him, maybe even something you can genuinely appreciate about your partner, you can find that as well.
Over the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing tools and insights that can help for when the struggles in our marriages begin to worsen. But if this is speaking to you now and you don’t know how you’re going to make it through this intense and difficult time period without some real relationship tools to make things better (or at least bearable), then let’s talk soon.