We Communicate Based on How We Feel

The one thing men and women want more of in their marriages is communication.

 

When you’re feeling tired and frustrated, how do you communicate to your partner?

When you’re feeling angry and resentful, how do you react to your spouse?

When you’re feeling happy and secure, how do you engage with your wife?

How we communicate and engage with our spouse has everything to do with how we feel emotionally at any given time. So when we’re not feeling good, we’re likely not communicating in a way that’s going to get us the results we desire in our relationship.

Let me give you an example:

Jason knows that he should listen when his wife is venting about something that’s happening at work and empathize with her. But when he’s had a long day and feels like he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, he may feel like his wife is whining and that she has no idea what HIS life is like.

Regardless of the words that come out of his mouth, the energy of that feeling will be communicated to his wife.

He may go off and numb out in front of the television feeling frustrated and she’ll go to bed early feeling unheard, tired and annoyed.

Nothing will get solved…..

No one will feel heard or validated or understood…

And they take another step away from one another.

So now you know that how we communicate with our partner is a direct result of how we feel emotionally in that moment.

And you probably already know that you are responsible for your emotions and how you feel.

But did you know that improving the way you communicate and engage with one another can either heal or break what is already a broken and disconnected marriage?

So that’s why this is incredibly important work…

And that’s why the real work has to start with the individual…

Because when you can each get in touch with your emotions so that the way you engage and communicate with one another aligns with the outcome you want in your marriage, that’s when the magic happens.

Creating a loving, healthy and lasting relationship is completely within your control – whether you’re doing the work alone or with your partner.