Our expectations of other people and our attachments to how we think the circumstances of our lives should be get us in an awful lot of trouble.
We expect that our spouse will notice when we’re overwhelmed and step in and do something about it so that we feel some relief…
We expect that our spouse will be appreciative of all our hard work…
We expect that the people around us will appreciate what we have done…
We expect that our partner will know what we want…
Then, we’re inevitably let down when the people around us fall short of those expectations.
But you know what’s ironic?
We are the only ones suffering.
We are suffering because we think it should be different than it actually is….
What are we so afraid will happen if we let go of our expectations of others?
Maybe, we think something like this:
She will be let off the hook…and just do whatever she chooses? (Everyone gets to do what they want to do anyway…)
She won’t realize how important something is to you? (They clearly don’t realize it now…)
You’ll never get your needs met? (You’re not getting your needs met now…)
She won’t do it the way it should be done. (she isn’t doing that now)
Stop holding onto how you think it should be.
If you want to end your suffering, it will require you to make peace with what actually is.
It will require you to express what you need (of course) and let others do what they want to do.
Only then will you actually be able to see and experience true peace in your relationships.
In order to create a new experience that feels really good, we have to be willing to release the pain that is causing our suffering.
Not everyone is ready to release the pain that is causing the suffering. Are you?