I used to be that person that would see people in the potential of who they could be, rather than who they really were. Maya Angelou once said, “when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” I did not do a very good job of heeding this advice, and it caused me some unnecessary heartache by hanging onto relationships long past their expiration date.
I speak to clients all day long that are struggling in their marriages and praying for change, expressing, I wish she would just…
But wishing for her is pointless if she doesn’t want that for herself.
As a relationship coach, I want happy lives and connected relationships for my clients; but as great as my desire is for them to feel happy and connected, THAT ALONE does not make my desires for their lives a reality.
They have to want it for themselves.
And they have to be willing to take the steps needed in order to experience change.
That’s the only way change happens.
All of this wanting for others – when they do not want it for themselves – is the metaphorical equivalent of beating your head against a wall every day.
It simply doesn’t work.