Blog – Men’s Posts

If You Keep Doing the Same Thing, You Should Expect the Same Result.

Blog – Men’s Posts

Are You Showing Up as the Man You Want to Be?

The most difficult situations we face in life give us the opportunity to show up as either the best version of ourselves – or the worst.

A client, who I will call Tom, was preparing to have that difficult conversation with his wife, where he tells her he has decided he wants to separate. He has been unhappy for quite some time, and there have been many arguments. She knows he has been unhappy, but she didn’t know how to fix the issues they were facing as a couple.

Moving through a separation or divorce can prove to ...continue reading...

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Giving & Getting Advice on Your Difficult Decision

How many times has someone sought your advice and asked you what to do about a difficult situation? How many times have you asked for advice yourself only to not follow what those well-intentioned people have told you?

Clients of mine seek counsel with family about their struggling marriages only to hear about how they should make it work at all costs. They will also receive wisdom from friends and confidants that will tell them it’s time to leave the marriage. And yet, you’re still feeling stuck, absolutely paralyzed, not knowing how to move forward but also not ...continue reading...

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Divorce and Emotions

In most divorces, there is usually one person that is asking for the divorce and one that is not. Most would believe that the one asking for the divorce gets to bypass the pain of the loss associated with the divorce, but that’s not necessarily true. No one gets out of divorce free of hurt, even when you’re the one initiating it. Often times however, the one being left seems to have a different type of healing to do from the hurts inflicted from unwinding a marriage.

I had been married for six years. I knew we had ...continue reading...

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When We Take Responsibility, it Provides the Ability to Respond

“The more you take responsibility for your past and present, the more you are able to create the future you seek.” – Author Unknown

Sam and Annie has been married for 20 years.

Sam worked hard and spent many long hours away from home working in his office. Providing was how he showed love for his family, plus he enjoyed his career and was quite good at it.

Sometimes he would come home and be present physically, but his head was still at the office on all the issues he dealt with today and the challenges he ...continue reading...

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The Problem with Staying for the Kids

Joe has been in an unhappy marriage for 12 years. There was love there at one time, but that was so long ago he can’t remember what that feeling of love felt like. There has been no intimacy, no affection and he slowly, but surely, is feeling the impact of this disconnection. His relationship with his wife now feels more like roommates on the good days and adversaries on the worst days.

He quietly suspected years ago that the relationship would not last forever, but he had convinced himself that he could stay until the kids graduated high school ...continue reading...

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Why Bother Trying?

Fixing our relationship just seems so hard…

Maybe it would just be easier to find someone who has the qualities I want in an intimate relationship…

It’s probably not going to work. Why bother trying?

When you’ve been with your partner for decades and struggling for years, it might seem like the easier option is to quit on the relationship all together. You might find yourself asking, Why bother trying?

I have a client who likes to go hiking; his wife doesn’t. Surely it wouldn’t be that difficult to find someone who likes to hike and would go with ...continue reading...

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She’s Not Going to Do What You Want Her to Do

I was on a call recently with a man who shared with me the frustrations he’s feeling in his marriage:

She just doesn’t get it…

What she’s doing isn’t right…

I’ve told her 100 times…

 

Those people in our lives….. Our spouses…Our children…Our mothers-in-law…Our parents…Our friends…

Life would just be so much easier if they would just do what we want them to do…

Wouldn’t it?

 

News Flash:

They’re not going to do what you want them to do.

They’re going to do what they want to do.

 

Here’s why:

If I put a pillow over ...continue reading...

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We are Choosing What We Experience

I was talking with a friend recently who has been single for quite some time now after a divorce from his wife of 8 years. He was telling me about dates he has been on, women he has met, and how he just can’t seem to find anyone he is interested in. He said “I would like to have someone in my life, but there just isn’t anyone out there.”  He asked me if I thought he was “damaged”, or if he “just wasn’t capable of being in a relationship” any more.

I said, “I think that there is ...continue reading...

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Judgment Doesn’t Help

Men who have lied find me…

Men who have cheated find me…

Men who have engaged with married women find me…

Men who have done things they are not proud of find me…

Men who think they want to leave find me..

Men who think they want to stay find me..

 

They find me because the words I use let them know they are safe with me.

They won’t be judged.

Or ridiculed….

Or made to feel worse than they already do…

Or asked to justify why they did or did not do something.

 

I do not ...continue reading...

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If Your Wife is Controlling, Here’s Why.

“If I was meant to be controlled, I would have come with a remote.” Genereux Philip

 

Have you ever felt like your wife is controlling?

Maybe she is afraid that you are not being fully honest, so she watches your every move and monitors your phone.

Maybe she’s afraid that the kids will get into trouble, so she wants you to parent the children in the same way she does.

Maybe she is afraid of what other people will think if your picture-perfect life changes.

It goes the other way too; sometimes men attempt to control their wife’s ...continue reading...

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