“Things are as they are, we suffer because we imagined different.” Anonymous
Our expectations of other people and our attachments to how we think the circumstances of our lives should be get us in an awful lot of trouble.
We expect that our husbands will notice when we’re overwhelmed and that he’ll step in and do something about it so that we feel some relief…
We expect that our spouses will be appreciative for all of our hard work…
We expect that the people around us will be happy and positive and grateful.
And we attach to those expectations. And then, we’re inevitably let down when the people around us fall short of those expectations.
But you know what’s ironic?
We’re the only ones suffering.
And we’re suffering because we’re beating our heads against a metaphorical wall thinking it should be different than it actually is….
There’s no peace there.
What are we so afraid will happen if we let go of our expectations of others?
My client asked herself the most perfect question earlier today: What am I so afraid will happen if I let it go?
He’ll be let off the hook…and he’ll just do whatever he chooses? (Everyone gets to do what they want to do anyway…)
They won’t realize how important something is to you? (They clearly don’t realize it now…)
You’ll never get your needs met? (You’re not getting your needs met now…)
But at least you won’t be suffering by beating your head against the wall thinking it should be different.
If you want to end your suffering, it will require you to make peace with what is.
It will require you to express what you need (of course) and let others do what they want to do.
Only then will you actually be able to see and experience true peace in your relationships.
In order to create a new experience that feels really good, we have to be willing to release the pain that is causing our suffering.
Not everyone is ready to release the pain that is causing the suffering. Are you?