“Hope never abandons you, you abandon it.” George Weinberg
My new clients, who I’ll refer to as Andrea and Gary had been together for 14 years, both on their second marriages. Theirs had not been an easy relationship, with many arguments and the complexities that come with attempting to blend families together. He could be a bit too volatile and she could be a bit too passive.
But with each angry outburst, she took a step away from him emotionally.
When he would reject her advances, she stepped further away from him.
Every time he would choose work over her, she retreated a bit more.
Now Gary’s reaching for her and she’s stepped so far away that he’s been unable to reach her.
….and she’s not exactly holding out her hand to him anymore.
And they both – while genuinely diving into the work we’ll do together – are wondering:
Is there still hope?
The short answer is: Yes, there’s always hope. Always.
The longer answer is…
There is some healing that has to be done for Andrea and it’s bigger than a simple apology for bad behavior or poor choices. She has to be able to trust him with her heart again.
There is a bridge that needs to be built so they can feel connected again as a couple.
And there is some learning and growth that needs to take place so that they can both feel equipped and confident with tools to help them create a different kind of relationship together.
There are no guarantees, but there’s always hope.
I had such an incredible and truly heartwarming response to the offer I made last week to work with couples that it’s now going to be a part of my standard coaching packages moving forward, in addition to working with people individually.