“I don’t want to look back in five years and think, ‘We could have been magnificent, but I was afraid.’ In five years I want to tell how fear tried to cheat me out of the best thing in life, and I didn’t let it.” Unknown
I told you in my blog post on Tuesday that the one thing both men and women wanted more of in their marriages was communication.
When you’re feeling tired and frustrated, how do you communicate to your partner?
When you’re feeling angry and resentful, how to you react to your spouse?
When you’re feeling happy and secure, how do you engage with your husband?
How we communicate and engage with our spouse has everything to do with how we feel emotionally at any given time. So when we’re not feeling good, we’re likely not communicating in a way that’s going to get us the results we desire in our relationship.
Let me give you an example:
Julie knows that she should listen when her husband is venting about something that’s happening at work and empathize with him. But when she’s had a long day and feels like she’s carrying the weight of the world – and the household and the kids and, and, and – on her shoulders, she may feel like her husband is whining and he has no idea what her life is like.
Regardless of the words that come out of her mouth, the energy of that feeling will be communicated to her husband.
He may go off and numb out in front of the television feeling unheard and she’ll go to bed early feeling tired and annoyed.
Nothing will get solved…..
No one will feel heard or validated or understood…
And they take another step away from one another.
So now you know that how we communicate with our husbands is a direct result of how we feel emotionally in that moment.
And you probably already know that you are responsible for your emotions and how you feel.
But did you know that improving the way you communicate and engage with one another can either heal or break what is already a broken and disconnected marriage?
So that’s why this is incredibly important work…
And that’s why the real work has to start with the individual…
Because when you can each get in touch with your emotions so that the way you engage and communicate with one another aligns with the outcome you want in your marriage, that’s when magic happens.
Creating a loving, healthy and lasting relationship is completely within your control – whether you’re doing the work alone or with your partner.
With much love and light –