“Sometimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth and value, but because we finally realize...
WALKING AWAY AND MOVING ON
Can You Guess The Most Popular Day For Divorces In America?
January is considered to be “Divorce Month” in the US, because it is the one month out of the year in which the most divorces are being filed. But there is one day in January that is the single day...
Are You Caught in a Rip Tide?
“Not everything that is faced can be changed; but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” James Baldwin Living near the ocean we hear a lot about rip currents, also known as rip tides and...
A Poem for You: When You’re Stuck in Limbo
WHAT I FEAR MOSTis the half-dead life. The neither this nor that life. The in-between,down the crack life. The one I can’t decidewhether I shouldor shouldn’t life. Because a limbo lifeis a half-dead...
I Stayed Longer Than I Should Have
“The best time to do something significant is between yesterday and tomorrow.” Zig Ziglar I once had a client who was hard on herself for staying longer than she should have in her marriage. The...
When You’re Just Done
“Sometimes you just have to be done. Not mad, not upset. Just done.” Unknown My client’s husband had cheated, but she was trying to work through that… Her husband was drinking a lot, but she wanted...
My Marriage is Over
“neither of us is happy but neither of us wants to leave so we keep breaking one another and calling it love.” -Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey One of my clients recently shared with me an analogy of how...
Looking For Peace When a Marriage is Crumbling
“You’ll never find peace of mind until you listen to your heart.” George Michael If there is one relationship dynamic that I have seen hundreds (maybe thousands) of times it’s that once a woman...
Not All Men Are “Good Men”
“I will not stay, not ever again - in a room or conversation or relationship or institution that requires me to abandon myself.” Glennon Doyle ***You know how some videos come with a warning about...
Waiting for Change
It was about this time last year that my client, Suzanne, was waiting for her daughter to graduate before confronting her husband about his affair. She didn’t want that drama impacting her...
I’m Stuck. Is That True?
“You have to stop thinking that you’ll be stuck in your current situation forever…Don’t confuse a season, for a lifetime.” Brittney Moses I’ve heard several reports recently referencing how the call...
Say “Thank You”
“Dear God, thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.” Children’s Letters to God Over the weekend, I was re-watching one of the old Super Soul Sunday episodes where...
Sounding the Alarm Bells on Gaslighting
“Lies don’t end relationships, the truth does.” Shannon L. Alder Psychology Today tells us that “gaslighting is a form of persistent manipulation and brain washing that causes the victim to doubt...
When Loving You is Betraying Myself
“Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.” Robert Holden It was early Saturday morning. He had brought her coffee since she was still in bed. He...
The Intensity of Pain
“Never be ashamed of how deeply and passionately you loved someone who destroyed you, because destroying things is just who they are…and loving things deeply and passionately is who you are.” ...
Children and Divorce: What if Your Kids Could Thrive?
“Your children are watching you very, very closely. Showing your children that you can respect each other and resolve conflict respectfully will give them a good foundation for the conflict that...
Ten Tips to Divorce Differently
“What if I didn’t blame the other person for anything, and held myself 100 percent accountable? What if I checked my own s--- at the door and put my children first? What if I reminded myself of the...
All Love Matters…Even When It Ends
When my client, who I’ll refer to as Vicky began working with me, she was trying to determine if there was any hope for her marriage that had been on the ropes for years. They were separated and...
When You Take Responsibility, You Have the Ability to Respond
“One of the greatest challenges in creating a joyful, peaceful and abundant life is taking responsibility for what you do and how you do it. As long as you can blame someone else, be angry with...
Divorce and Our Emotions
“It can be difficult, if not impossible, for many divorced people to ever rest in a state of pure grief, pure anger, or pure relief when it comes to feelings about one’s ex-spouse. Instead, the...
The One Who Broke My Heart
“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it.” Nicholas Sparks Michael was tall, broad-shouldered, muscular and devilishly handsome. He had a smile that lit...
Have I Outgrown My Relationship?
“Some people we just outgrow. Relationships might end with no real explanation as to why. And when that happens, respect the shift. Honor the growth and understand that not all roots can stay...
The Secret Wellness Tool that Will Help You Get Through Divorce
Divorce is a loss. It is a loss of a relationship, of course, but it is also a loss of a dream you once held. It may be a loss of an identity. You may lose friendships and you’ll certainly lose...
Owning My Part: How I Found Success in the Failure of My Marriage
Our life together looked picture-perfect from the outside. We both had good jobs, a beautiful home in a suburban golf community, plenty of friends and supportive families. We took vacations, had...
How to Have a Drama-Free Breakup
I was in love. It wasn’t an easy, nurturing, soulful love. It was the kind of love that rocks your foundation and leaves you feeling consumed. He was the first thing I thought about when I woke up...
How to Admit Your Role in a Failed Relationship (without Blaming Yourself)
When a relationship "fails," it's easy to look back on it with blame and shame. We want to point fingers and attribute the pain to external forces (more often than not, by blaming our exes). But the...
What to Do when Your Relationship with a Narcissist (Inevitably) Falls Apart
A woman I'll call Bethany got in touch with me asking for help. She was 47 years old, had two children, and had been married for 23 years to a man with significant narcissistic tendencies. Although...
What I Know about Love from Being in the Wrong Marriage
I was married to a perfectly nice, stable man for 11 years. Safe and picture-perfect from the outside, my marriage still left me feeling lonely and disconnected inside.When I left my marriage in my...
Just Because He Lied or Cheated Doesn’t Make Him a Narcissist
“Narcissism falls along the axis of what psychologists call personality disorders, one of a group that includes antisocial, dependent, histrionic, avoidant and borderline personalities. But by most...
When Your Ex is Ruining Your Life
“As you think, so shall you be.” Wayne W. Dyer Samantha is a new client whose ex is ruining her life. She bravely shared with me the story of her life with her ex-husband of more than seven...
Your Husband Left. It Didn’t Happen Overnight.
If you husband left, or threatened to leave, this post was written especially for you. “When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person that walked in. That’s what the storm is all...
5 Steps to Not Repeating Your Relationship Mistakes
“Lessons in life will be repeated until they are learned.” Frank Sonnenberg We all have that one friend that swears she’s unlucky at love. Maybe you know someone who always seems to make the same...
The Single Worst Piece of Advice I’ve Ever Heard from a Therapist
“No matter what you’ve been told, your search for love is not a race against time. It is not a search for a needle in a haystack. It is an intimacy journey, and every step on that journey moves you...
What if There’s Never Any Closure?
“Those things we can’t find closure on, they haunt us. They pop up in our dreams, and creep into our thoughts in idle moments…” Lisa Unger Kristen and her husband were together for 11 years....
The Battle between the Heart and Mind
“…just as darkness is nothing but the absence of light, so fear is nothing but the absence of love.” Marianne Williamson Alena had been divorced over a year. Everyone told her the first year...
What if I’m Alone Forever?
“Your next relationship will be different because you are different.” Sharon Pope, Soulful Truth Telling: Disbelieving the Lies that Keep Us from the Love We Desire Many women find me when...
Heal from a Relationship with a Narcissist & Never Allow that into Your Heart Again
“There is a kind of love that is so deep it consumes our hearts, minds, bodies, and souls. There is a kind of love that is passionate, intimate, and connected. Sometimes it’s that kind of love that...
Are You Glad You Made the Decision to Leave Your Marriage?
“The trouble with life isn’t that there is no answer, it’s that there are so many answers.” Ruth Benedict There cannot be a rebirth without the death of something significant. We all love the...
You Can Trust Yourself Again
“Everything you want lies on the other side of learning to trust yourself.” Vironika Tugaleva One of the things that will keep women stuck in solitude after a divorce, I’ve found, is a fear...
Why Can’t I Get Over Him? Here’s 3 Reasons.
“You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.” Max...
Was My Ex a Narcissist?
“Narcissists can make you fall in love with them so hard that it feels like you’re giving up a part of your heart to leave them.” Dr. Judith Orloff I’ve often said that “One day I’ll write about...
The Support of Girlfriends
“There must be those among whom we can sit down and weep, and still be counted as warriors.” Adrienne Rich, Sources Six years ago when I went through a series of incredibly painful breakups,...
The Three “F” Words in Your Relationship
“Just because your relationship wasn’t forever, doesn’t mean it was a mistake. It means it was an important chapter in the long story of your life.” Sharon Pope, Soulful Truth Telling: Am I in the...
What’s Your Story? Is it Keeping You Stuck?
“You’re getting the results of your stories.” Angela Lauria If you’re healing after a breakup, you inevitably have a story about what happened and why the relationship ended. Take a moment and think...
The Reason Why He Left
“When your heart is broken, there’s an opening…a small space…for the light to get through.” Sharon Pope To date, there has been nothing in my life that caused me more pain than when I had my heart...
3 Ways to Stay Stuck
“If you feel stuck in your present life…I guarantee you are living in a dungeon made of stories – and none of those limiting stories are true.” Martha Beck, Steering by Starlight When I’m speaking...
Breakups Force Us to Choose Between Anger and Peace
“You act on the outside how you feel on the inside.” Tracy McMillan We’ve all been there. We’ve been in a relationship with someone that we cared about deeply. In my life, I have been hurt and I...
Breakups are a Gift
“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.” Mary Oliver When hearts are broken, it hurts. I’ve lost jobs. I’ve lost friendships....
The Breakthrough after a Breakup
“Each of our paths is uniquely perfect. Life presents us with what we need to grow.” Judith Orloff, M.D. The Ecstasy of Surrender She was crying daily, uncontrollably, in front of clients and behind...
5 Powerful Lessons about Healing a Broken Heart
“God pulls us through life by the heart.” Martha Beck As I’ve been building my life coaching practice, I’ve become very clear on who it is I want to serve. The truth is that the people I can help...
10 Things Every Woman Should Know about Love and Dating by the Time They’re 40!
“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.” Joan Crawford In honor of Valentine’s Day, we’ll keep this focused on love and dating...