The Danger of Our Expectations. A Very Personal Story.

I believe that we all are enough.

The Danger of Our Expectations. A Very Personal Story.

Posts Categorized 'Inspiration for Myself & My Relationships'

The Danger of Our Expectations. A Very Personal Story.

“Expectations will steal the gifts that are sitting right there in front of you.” Jada Pinkett Smith

 

This deeply personal story could help every relationship you have…

I am witnessing my mother as she moves through the disease of Alzheimer’s. She struggles to complete sentences and yet she’s still able to get her point across. She can’t follow a storyline on a TV show or in a book, but she’s very much present in the moment and enjoying herself being entertained. She often repeats herself, but nothing ever goes unsaid.

My mother is at a place now where ...continue reading...

Posted in: Inspiration for Myself & My Relationships | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

Judgement Doesn’t Help

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” Mother Theresa

 

Women who have lied find me…

Women who have cheated find me…

Women who have engaged with married men find me…

Women who have done things they’re not proud of find me…

And even men who are imperfect themselves occasionally find me.

They find me because the words I use let them know they’re safe with me.

They won’t be judged.

Or ridiculed….

Or made to feel worse than they already do…

I lost my ability to judge others because I know what it’s like ...continue reading...

Posted in: Inspiration for Myself & My Relationships | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

Challenging the Inevitable Truth

“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.” Oscar Wilde

 

Virtually everyone believes their thoughts as Truth (with a capital T). No one walks around thinking, “I think I’ll believe that lie.” And yet, all of our beliefs are simply perspectives – not right or wrong, good or bad – just one person’s perspective.

But some of the beliefs we carry as if they are inevitable truths that will for sure come to fruition or that they are irrefutable facts. They’re often not. Outside of needing oxygen and water to live, there are very few beliefs we carry ...continue reading...

Posted in: Inspiration for Myself & My Relationships | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

How are You Showing Up as a Woman?

“One is not born a woman, one becomes one.” Simone De Beauvoir

My client, who I’ll refer to as Tammy, is getting ready to have that incredibly difficult conversation with her husband. She’s been unhappy in her marriage for a long time; it’s not been kept a secret. But she’s preparing to have the conversation where she takes that next big step and shares the decision she’s made to separate with him.

When we’re in the midst of a difficult situation:

Hard conversations we’ve been avoiding for far too long… Sharing our feelings without knowing how it will be ...continue reading...
Posted in: Inspiration for Myself & My Relationships | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

This is What to Do with Drama and Struggle

“It’s not somebody’s fault if their father was an abusive alcoholic, but it’s for damn sure their responsibility to figure out how they’re gonna deal with those traumas and try to make a life out of it.” Will Smith

 

A friend and former mentor of mine said something yesterday that was brilliant. She said:

“You don’t get to decide whether or not the drama shows up.

You get to decide what you do in the midst of that drama.”

It reminded me of the Will Smith video that’s been making the rounds on Facebook ...continue reading...

Posted in: Inspiration for Myself & My Relationships | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

When We Withhold Love

“If you withhold love as a form of punishment, who is being punished?” Donald L. Hicks

 

Here’s how most relationships work:

When my spouse is doing the things that I want them to do, I show them love. When they’re not doing those things or doing things that I would prefer they NOT do, I withhold love.

My spouse will clearly feel the difference and will adjust their actions and behaviors accordingly so that the love spicket will once again rain upon them.

That’s not love, that’s attachment and manipulation.

 

We are taught this from a very ...continue reading...

Posted in: Fixing the Disconnect in My Marriage, Inspiration for Myself & My Relationships | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

Why I Love It When My Coaching Clients Stop Working with Me

“You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weights you down.” Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon

 

Last week one of my coaching clients stopped working with me.

When she came to me she had one foot out the door and no idea how to save a marriage that was essentially on life support.

Now several months later, she and her husband have re-connected, they’re communicating every day and they’re enjoying doing things together that they haven’t done in years.

She also is now equipped with all the tools she needs to sustain this connection in ...continue reading...

Posted in: Inspiration for Myself & My Relationships | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

Are You Listening? Are You Listening to Yourself?

“Never apologize for trusting your intuition – your brain can play tricks, your heart can blind, but your gut is always right.” Rachel Wolchin

My client, Sue, had a long talk with her husband. He blamed her for not being able to commit to him. He blamed her for not saying I love you often enough. He blamed her for his feelings of loneliness and insecurity. And she believed it was true. She started to blame herself and feel like maybe she was the problem in their marriage.

Sue is listening to her husband more than she’s listening to ...continue reading...

Posted in: Inspiration for Myself & My Relationships | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

What has been Your Biggest Mistake?

“Sometimes our biggest mistake gives us our greatest reward.” Namita Budhiraja

 

I received an application today that read something like…

Our relationship has been one roller coaster ride after another. When I married him, I didn’t do it for love, I did it because he was a solid man. 1st mistake. I stayed for the kids. 2nd mistake. Now I’ve continued to stay. 3rd mistake.

What are the biggest mistakes you’ve made in your relationships?

Have you made them repeatedly in your life?

What are the mistakes you feel like you’re still making?

***

I have ...continue reading...

Posted in: Inspiration for Myself & My Relationships | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment

You Have Every Right to Complain…It Just Won’t Serve You

“Complaining not only ruins everybody else’s day, it ruins the complainer’s day too. The more we complain, the more unhappy we get.” Dennis Prager

  Yesterday morning I woke up at 5:55 am and struggled to go back to sleep. I had gotten to bed late the night before. I finally fell back asleep only to hear my alarm about thirty minutes later. I was tired…the kind of tired you feel in your bones. But I had client and prospect appointments booked for the whole day starting in one hour, so I got up and got ready. I took ...continue reading...
Posted in: Inspiration for Myself & My Relationships, Truth | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments | View All
Leave a Comment