Protecting Your Heart

I believe that we all are enough.

Protecting Your Heart

Protecting Your Heart

“You don’t protect your heart by acting like you don’t have one.” Unknown Author

 

Casey has been married for 15 years and over those years there had been plenty of hurtful words, disappointments and unmet expectations between them. So much so that she built a metaphorical wall around her heart to protect herself from being hurt again and again and again by the man that she truly did love.

She stopped making herself vulnerable to him, keeping him at an emotionally safe distance.

She stopped telling him about how she was feeling, about her dreams and desires…existing on ...continue reading...

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How Did We Go from Hope to Hate?

“Truth is about perception and what we believe shapes what we perceive.” Alan B Jones

 

Imagine for a second you’re sitting in your living room and just on the other side of a sliding glass door is the ocean. You can see the different shades of blue in the water, you can see the movement of the ocean and the white peaks that form at the tops of the rolling waves. It’s beautiful and calming…and powerful. You could sit there all day admiring the view.

Now imagine that we replace that sliding glass door with a few panes of ...continue reading...

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I Didn’t Go Looking for an Affair

“If you don’t receive love from the ones that are meant to love you, you will never stop looking for it.” Robert Goolrick

 

“I never intended for this to happen.”

“I never saw this coming.”

“I didn’t go looking for an affair.”

“We were just talking as friends.”

“It just happened.”

Sure there are some people that actively go looking for an affair – the next distraction, the next victim, spending hours on sites like Ashley-Madison. But those aren’t typically the people that find their way to me.

The people in my tribe find themselves in an affair ...continue reading...

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Why Your Husband Shuts Down

“Men want to communicate with the women they love, but how they need to go about it is likely to be very different.” Shaunti Feldhahn

 

My client Cynthia, processes things very quickly; she has to. She’s a wife, a mother, an executive and CEO of a very busy household. And when there’s an issue in her marriage, she wants to be able to talk it through with her husband in order to come to a resolution. Her frustration is that she feels like her husband shuts down, won’t talk to her about the issue and then believes he ...continue reading...

Posted in: Fixing the Disconnect in My Marriage |
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When We Betray Ourselves

“Discomfort is a wise teacher.” Carolyn Myss

 

My client, who I’ll refer to here as Stella, had been married for 18 years when she found out that her husband had been involved in an online emotional affair with an ex-girlfriend for at least three years.

Sounds like a betrayal, right?

Yes, it was. But he wasn’t the only one doing some betraying…

Stella couldn’t remember the last time she felt good about her marriage.

They argued a lot and nothing ever seemed to get resolved.

Every time she tried to talk to her husband about the problems in ...continue reading...

Posted in: Seeking Clarity in My Marriage: Should I Stay or Should I Go? | Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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The Power in Making a Decision

“Courage and confidence are what decision making is all about.” Mike Krzyzewski

 

A client, who I’ll call Paula, had gotten stuck.

Six weeks ago, she told her husband that she felt it was time to separate. They had been struggling for years and it was only getting worse.

They were arguing more.

They were sleeping in separate bedrooms.

And Paula was worrying about what they were teaching their daughters about love and marriage.

She felt like their only answer was to separate.

Not surprisingly, that’s not what her husband wanted so they spent the next three hours trying ...continue reading...

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When You Take Responsibility, You Have the Ability to Respond

“One of the greatest challenges in creating a joyful, peaceful and abundant life is taking responsibility for what you do and how you do it. As long as you can blame someone else, be angry with someone else, point a finger at someone else, you are not taking responsibility for your life.” Iyanla Vanzant

 

Fran and Steve had been together for 26 years.

Fran had become more controlling after their children were born and their schedules became more and more chaotic.

She would frequently talk over him when he tried to speak.

She would stifle his ideas and ...continue reading...

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The Four Stages of Marriage

“Our marriages are never static; they are always changing – either growing or withering…” Dave & Claudie Arp   Our marriages and most intimate relationships are incredibly complex and constantly changing; as we evolve and change, so do our closest relationships.   There are certainly times when we’re feeling incredibly connected to our partners, knowing their thoughts, finishing their sentences and even feeling their pain or insecurities. And there are those other times, when we’re wondering who this person is that’s sitting across from us and how we got here. Those are the extremes, but certainly we live a ...continue reading...
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Do You and Your Husband Talk about the Weather?

“Curiosity is, in great and generous minds, the first passion and the last.” Samuel Johnson

 

What do you most love to talk about?

Inspirational ideas? Dreams and goals? Making plans? Spirituality or faith? Telling stories and laughing?

What do you and your husband talk about most often?

The kids and their schedules? The news? The weather?

Houston…we have a problem.

It may sound obvious, but if you find that mostly what you and your husband talk about are things like the news and the weather, it’s no wonder you feel so disconnected.

Maybe you stopped talking to him ...continue reading...

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Some Practical Relationship Advice

“You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.”  Epicurus

The average American spends 2160 days in school, and based upon the average life span, that’s 12% of all the days of our lives spent in school. During that time, we learn about things such as math, science, reading, writing, languages, etc. These are all important topics to help us function in the world and become productive adults.

But at the end of our lives, when we’re lying there close to taking our last breath and reflecting ...continue reading...

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