I Should Be Grateful

“I write about the power of trying because I want to be okay with failing. I write about generosity because I battle selfishness. I write about joy because I know sorrow. I write about faith because I almost lost mine, and I know what it is to be broken and in need of redemption. I write about gratitude because I am thankful – for all of it.” Kristin Armstrong

Lately, some beautifully brave women have reached out to me from some pretty desperate situations and are beating themselves up because logic tells them, “They should be grateful.”

Teri’s husband barely speaks to her, is completely uninterested in her and her life and she desperately wants children, but her husband won’t sleep with her. She feels unimportant, lonely and abandoned.

  • But he has an important, high-paying job with an impressive title and they make a good living together, so she beats herself up wondering, “Why can’t I just be happy? Why can’t I just be grateful?”

Sue’s soon-to-be-ex-husband put her down for 20 years, telling her she wasn’t smart enough to go out and get a job or start a business. He told her that she was fat and unattractive. He drank a lot, cheated on her multiple times, although never owned up to it, and still belittles her every chance he gets.

  • But they had 3 children together, a beautiful home, a second vacation home, a long history and her family loved him. She stayed for as long as she did because she genuinely tried to believe that she could put up with the abuse for the benefit of her children and the family. She believed that she should be grateful for the health of her children and the apparent stability of her family.

On any given day, there is an abundance to be grateful for: great meals, sunshine, a hot bath, sleeping in, acts of kindness, your favorite warm sweater, a smile from a friend and the miracle of our bodies. We absolutely should be grateful for those small miracles that surround us. But, we shouldn’t use those things as a crutch to keep us stuck in emotionally abusive relationships.

We are, in fact, deserving of all the abundance life offers every day as well as deserving of being loved, honored and cherished in our relationships.

We can have both.

We deserve both.

That’s not being selfish or asking too much.

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Here’s some things that we truly can be grateful for (even in the midst of difficult relationships):

  • The ability to see a deeper truth about our worthiness
  • The awareness about our relationships so that we have the opportunity to create a different experience for ourselves.
  • The strength to get through the difficult days.
  • The support we have from others in our lives.
  • The love that exists at the core of who we are.

Tell the Truth. Show up in Love. Live in Freedom.